If I Had Rights – A Response to NC Amendment 1
I like to add pretty pictures to my blogs, but there are no pretty pictures in this amendment. The bill was sponsored by Republican Sen. Peter Brunstetter, and passed by the North Carolina General Assembly. I’ve been praying and considering a way to write about this with calm reserve and kindness…while also telling my truth. One of the leading arguments against Amendment 1 of the North Carolina State Constitution, is that gays and lesbians already lack basic rights. For instance, If I had rights:
I could marry my partner.
I could be on my partner’s insurance and be able to get the meds and full medical attention I need to breathe.
While battling asthma I would not have to worry if my partner could be barred from a hospital room, when she is the only one who really knows what I’ve been going through besides my doctors.
I am a part-time employee at my workplace, and have worked other part-time jobs trying to make enough money to pay my bills and buy preventive asthma meds. I work, and I work hard…but this is not about me, just an example in short, that already I don’t have rights. Other than furthering hatred of me and my friends, this amendment can’t take what we don’t have.
Where is the love?
When first considering to write about this topic, I did not want to go near anything with anger. We have enough anger. We have enough hatred. Where is the love? Isn’t that what any marriage is about? What about this:
instead of voting for Amendment 1, go home and take your spouse on a date
instead of voting for Amendment 1, spend that time, energy and money on your loved ones
instead of voting for Amendment 1, get counseling if your marriage is in jeopardy
This amendment cannot take away our rights as gays and lesbians, because we don’t have any. What this will do is begin to take away rights from unmarried straight couples and children. I know you’ve heard this argument. Did you know that there is a law on the books that prohibits co-habitation of unmarried couples? I remember reading articles in The Charlotte Observer where a rental agency had thrown a straight couple out of their apartment because they were not married. This would have been around 1997-1998. I would research for the exact article, but I’ve been very sick and there is little time to write.
Where is the love?
We get confused about love. The best description I’ve ever found for “love” is one proposed by Frederick Buechner. In summary he says, “Love is working for another’s well-being.” He goes on to describe what that means and that sometimes it means working for another, and sometimes it means leaving someone alone. Love is also working for your own well-being.
No one deserves to be hit. If you, a loved one, or a child are being physically abused in any way, get help. Rape or sexual violence is not love. Call your local shelter. Talk to your priest, priestess, friend, or a counselor. The National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence (NCCAFV) has a link to help in your state if you need it. Hitting and emotional/psychological put-downs, these things are not love. Get help. Stalking is not love. It is illegal. Read more from the National Center for Victims of Crime if you are being stalked.
“Love is working for another’s well-being.” Think about that. What does it mean to you?
For me, it means that I will go out and vote “No!” before May 8th. This is about your well-being if this will affect you because it won’t affect me. Remember, I already have no rights as a lesbian. If everyone votes down this bill, I will still not be able to marry or get on my partner’s health insurance. This is not about me. It’s about working for the well-being of us all. I want that. I’m tired of hatred and divisive politics. We are all in this together and none of us get out alive. Life is hard enough. We need each other and that’s okay…especially when we work for each other’s well-being.
Regardless of the outcome of the vote, I choose to love. Regardless of the vote, I will continue to be honest, hard-working, and spiritual. Regardless of the vote, I will still love my family and my family will still love me. There is no need to be afraid. Love does not cause fear, because remember, “Love is working for the well-being of another.”
“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”
― Frederick Buechner
