Comma Placement

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I am comma challenged. Where ever I place a comma, editors remove it. And editors add tons of commas that I neglected to put into the text.

To rectify this situation, I���ve hired an assistant. This new assistant will be in charge of all comma placements in my writing from now on.

Meet my new assistant. His name is Otter and he can���t possibly do worse than me.

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I hired Otter from a rescue/adoption agency. He���s originally from Louisiana so he barks with a drawl, like “Woof-y���all”. Very cute