PTSD and the final Jagged Shores Book

 Afterlast weeks post about the Cold Day Dawning character of Antoni, I’vebeen asked by a couple of people to elaborate on my own PTSD experience whichinformed Antoni’s character development. Happy too.

Triggerwarning – some reader might want to skip what follows.

Iwon’t go into huge detail because I don’t want to reignite the situation, butabout 11-12 years ago, I encountered someone who bore a grudge against me.After a short period that involved threats and menacing phone calls, thisperson broke into my office, emptied two cans of petrol over my desk and chairand set fire to it. Long story short, this person was arrested within a fewdays, admitted to the whole thing, and went to jail.

Althoughit was a shock at the time, it didn’t seem to bother me too much in thebeginning. I was made to go for counselling by my employers, but it did nothingfor me (not least because the counsellor spent most of the sessions telling meabout her holidays – but that’s another story.) It was a few months later thatI started to feel the impact. Nightmares. I was angry a lot of time. I didn’ttrust the people I encountered at work. I withdrew and didn’t want to go out. Ibecame security obsessed. It all culminated in some suicidal thoughts, which iswhen I finally asked for professional help. Getting help was only the beginningof a long recovery process and although I’ve processed it, I still gettriggered occasionally.

Whenthis person was first released from prison, they went on to commit an even moreserious violent offence against someone else, which brought a lot of my anxietyback. They went to prison on an even longer sentence, but when they escapedfrom custody a couple of years ago, I wasn’t allowed to go into work until theywere apprehended.

Theyare next due for release in two years time.

Sothat’s basically it. Although I’ve never written about what happened directly,I can see that it’s influenced a lot of the stories and characters I havecreated. My first novel Closer byMorning is very dark. I wrote it as I was still recovering, and Ithink it reflects the troubled place I was in at the time. I was certainly ableto draw on those difficult times to write about what Antoni goes through in theaftermath of Deep Waters andduring Cold Day Dawning. I don’tthink PTSD defines me or my books. I write romance stories, but I’ve had a lifelong love of thrillers and horror which have always been huge influences. Ithink I’ve been able to harness the PTSD experience and process it in apositive and cathartic way.

Ifanyone is going through that kind of thing now, I can only offer my bestwishes. There’s a lot of help available but it’s not always the right help, orthe help you need at the time, but it’s better to reach out and tell someone.As I said above, recovery is a long process, it takes years, but for meacknowledging something was wrong and talking about it, was a great beginning.

So,on a happier note, the reviews for ColdDay Dawning are fantastic. I’m delighted that the book is being sowell received. Last week I sent the final book in the series to mypublisher, and they have fixed the release date already. Jagged Ends (Jagged Shores 5) will beout on 30th April next year. Ican’t say too much about it yet. It’s another standalone romance, but if you’veenjoyed the series so far, I can promise the return of some favouritecharacters before the series reached an end.

GET COLD DAY DAWNING HERE