Poetry 8-24-2023

Discovery I did not find myselfin the bottom of a glassThe burn to numb poisonand all the untethering promisesshe madeI did not find myself in the narcissistic heartsparading in poets' clothingpromising ideas of my self-worthwhile making me kneel before themI did not find myselfby losing poundsor cutting hairor searing the wrinkles of a thousand laughs awayI did not find myselfby giving my love and my yearsaway to those who only wantedto own mecollect me, objectify and fantasizewho never gave credit to the soul within only lovedthe pretty, fading paperI found myself beneaththe starlit sky, high upin a meadow between mountainscold and alivebrave and scaredbreathing deep as thoughit was my first air takenI found myself in tumbling footfallsone after another, up and downcareening not controlledalonside painpacing with anxietybut listening to my own heartbeating outyou can you can you canI found myself in the holy landof pine needles and mocking bird criessilent stage, calm in a chaotic worldand herons in silent coasting flight above mecommuning with their soul's solitudein search of quiet shoresI found myself between pages and tattooed in inkwords and ideas and truths unknown to any other heart but my ownlearning that, without meeting requirements firstI am enough I am brave I deserve loveI found myself in the facesof women I've raisedto listen to themselves in waysI am still learningI found myself in their beautiful complexityknowing I would never allow them to be hurtin the ways I have accepted hurt for myselfI am finding myself and it has taken a lifetimeI just hopeI can take my heartand lead her away from the darkI hope I can find myself in time.