Auntie Corner — in which I shore up the collective memory a bit
It’s been raining so dang much that I haven’t been in the garden enough to show you what’s going on. But one thing is that I have a little bed devoted to cutting flowers and certain perennials, mostly bee balm (the picture just above). I started these various flowers from seed and put them in the corner of my vegetable garden, in hopes that I would notice them enough to be sure they get enough water and can be cut back so they produce more blooms.
They got enough water.
When something that is not a weed sprouts up, I often can’t bear to pull it out. So there are some tomatoes and squash growing there too, which is just daft.
I will cut the strawflowers for dried arrangements inside — they are so charming, and basically grow already dried.
My long-term hope is to fill out my big perennial bed by the house enough so that I don’t have to weed in it as much! This year I will have three varieties of bee balm to work with.
Auntie Corner
Sometimes my critics will say something like “you think you’re the authority on X!” and it makes me laugh, honestly. These are all my opinions! I thought that was obvious. When the Aunties get together (as I remember from the Egyptian part of my childhood*), we say what we think! Agree or disagree! Trying to preserve the collected memory here!
Anyway, here are some thoughts that randomly occurred to me this week (or not so randomly, when someone messaged me with a question):
Let your little ones fall down!
Once I encountered a family in which the mother and father stressfully followed their sturdy, plump little 15-month-old old around, “rescuing” him from tumbles. It was absurd. Toddlers are very bounceable. And they need to struggle up and down off of chairs and coffee tables, fall down a few stairs (put the gate ever higher), reach and not quite make it on rocks, run a bit too fast down the path, and so on.
You can show them how to go down a couple of stairs by moving their bodies at the top so that they are on their tummies and going feet first; I wouldn’t let them stand up on plastic lawn chairs, hanging themselves over the back (having had a trip to the hospital for stitches to the lip because we weren’t paying attention), but don’t protect them from normal low-to-the-ground sorts of spills. In other words, common sense.
They need to develop their spacial awareness regarding edges and tops of flights of stairs and so on as early as possible — and they will. Keep an eye on them, but also let them struggle and fall in manageable situations. Even falling out of bed is an important learning experience. Put the mattress on the floor so they learn to sleep without rolling off.
As any adult who has fallen recently will tell you, it’s no joke. Better to learn — even getting a few bruises and cuts — when you are three feet tall than when you are a brittle old anxious (or clumsy, like me) person.
I think widespread daycare has changed people’s scale of what sorts of mishaps are normal for a young child. Let’s put some common sense back into the mix.
Don’t comment that maybe I am not aware of some issue the child had. I discussed it with the parents — they just didn’t think he should get hurt! Silly! Counter-productive! Don’t let this happen to your child… let him fall down!
Are you making enough food?
I was watching a favorite homesteading show and the mom was demonstrating some of their family meals. They looked delicious and wonderful — but Auntie Leila says there wasn’t quite enough of it.
One reason your children are always hunting for snacks is the lack of sturdy sides in meals.
If you are going to make grain bowls, for instance, you also need a good amount of hearty (preferably sourdough) bread and butter to go with it. If it’s tacos, there should be rice and butternut squash (with lots of butter) or (or maybe and) corn on the side. And bread and butter or extra tortillas with cream cheese. Eggs by themselves are not filling. Kids need potatoes with them, and cheese, and meat, and bread and butter… I think that adults can limit their carbs and probably need to. Children need a lot of hearty food, especially if they are working and playing all day! Give them a (homemade) cookie!
A reader asked about keeping babies warm in winter.
Of course I have lots of posts about this (and chapters in my books), but I will just say that your body (and your husband’s body) is the best way to keep an infant warm. Layer yourself up with a cotton under layer so you can avoid feeling stifled, but one of the most liberating things if you live somewhere cold is to realize once and for all that being warmer is nicer! Wool socks, leggings under your skirt, corduroy or wool pants or skirt, cotton camisole plus cotton long-sleeved shirt plus wool sweater equals being okay with freezing temperatures. A warm scarf will help you get through to May. If you are warm, you will keep your baby warm.
For the baby, cotton leggings with woolen leggings over, and long sleeved onesies, helps them to be cozy. Keep their little feet warm.
Keep them changed — a wet diaper makes for a cold baby. Disposable diapers wick the wetness away from the skin in a somewhat deceptive way; overall the whole thing is stealing his body heat. But when you change him, keep the upper part of his body covered. Don’t have him lie there naked. Warm him up against your skin after a change. If he just can’t stop nursing and fretting, it might be that he is chilled. His mottled skin will tell the tale. Nurse him and then wrap him up cozily without letting any drafts get under his clothing if you are putting him down.
Get a sheepskin for the stroller, carriage, cot, floor so that the baby is protected from drafts.
I favor quilted cotton sleep sacks because older babies kick covers off, but always carry receiving blankets and a warmer blanket made of real (soft) wool or alpaca so that you can protect him as you go from car to house or if you realize that it happens to be colder than you thought it would be.
Coincidentally, I had come across this famous photo:
It’s so wonderful — you can read about it here. (These 1963 Parisian children are watching a puppet show and St. George has just slain the dragon!)
Of course what struck my knitting heart right away is the ubiquitous presence of warm woolens, combined, charmingly, with shorts! Attesting to the ability of wool to regulate body temperature — and the need for children to be unhampered as they run around!
Quilting Corner
I sewed some patches together, and now am trying to arrange them! I have more, too… There will be a sashing… I will show you next week (if I remember!).
*If you don’t understand what I mean by that, I will just briefly say that my parents were divorced and my Egyptian father remarried an Egyptian woman. Where they lived, and where I visited on holidays and for a time every summer, there was a big Arab community (in part because my father brought graduate students and colleagues to work with him at the university where he taught engineering). So there were plenty of aunties around to give their very strong opinions, and honestly it formed a lot of my practical education. Reticence is sometimes overrated.
bits & piecesAntifeminism can be as toxic as feminism by Eric Sammons. We have to stop seeing marriage as a conflict.I was interviewed for this piece on living liturgically (and how homeschooling helps)Why it’s not a good idea to see the Barbie movie (you probably weren’t going to, but this video gives some important reasons why it’s darker than you might have thought)I had posted this article about misdiagnosing (vs. treating, a distinction that was the source of some irrelevant commentary here — the issue is the diagnosis) autism years ago, and due to the nature of my (barely existent) organization here, had trouble finding it again when I wanted to reference it. I’m re-upping: That’s not autism: It’s simply a brainy, introverted boy: Autism spectrum diagnoses are up 78 percent in 10 years. We’re dramatically overdiagnosing it in everyday behavior. (I think the rate is much higher now; the article was written 10 years ago. A Catholic psychologist friend, who has a clinical practice with children, vouches for the author’s insight.)
from the archivesI feel the burden of homeschoolingHow to dress your child in colder weather (and I get that you might live somewhere warm, but you maybe need to know in case you get caught out; you might have heat in house and car, but what if they don’t work; you and/or your child might run hot, but there are some objective dangers to being in the cold for a long time)How to dress yourself!Getting the house ready for cold weather Maybe I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to waste heating money?
liturgical living
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