Writing Reflections
Even introverted lurkers like me can have big weeks. For instance, this week, I sat in front of my mirror and put on make-up. TWICE!
Now, those who knew me before I became a full-time writer won’t get that because they ONLY saw me when I wore makeup. I never went to church or work without it. At this time of year, when I hunkered down in my house furiously trying to finish writing textbooks and spelling tests before having to go back to teach school, I looked pretty rough, but I didn’t welcome people into my disheveled, makeup-less world.
Actually, I still don’t. Not when people can SEE me anyway.
On Monday, I was interviewed for Jennifer Sienes’s podcast, Between the Lines https://www.jennifersienes.com/podcast/, so I wanted to look my best. I faced my reflection in the mirror and prepared to go all out. I combed and sprayed my hair, put on makeup, added jewelry, and wore an actual blouse instead of one of my husband’s ratty t-shirts.
When my husband came home that night, he stopped in his tracks and said, “Are we supposed to go somewhere?”
“No. I had a podcast interview.”
“Oh, good. I saw the makeup and jewelry and thought, ‘Oh, no, I’ve forgotten something.'”
While it was nice getting dressed up, that wasn’t what the interview was about. Sitting down at my computer and talking to a fellow author about the craft of writing realistic contemporary Christian fiction was incredibly comforting and encouraging. Opening our hearts to each other about the issues facing families and churches today was healing. I spent nearly an hour talking with a stranger, realizing she was quickly becoming a new friend. I shared that my books deal with spiritual and church abuse. Her books focus on starting over and reclaiming one’s faith. Both of our sub-genres reflect what we know of the real world.
On Thursday, I face my mirror again, doing minimum makeup so I could lurk on a FB event called ROM COM Takes the Stage. It featured three authors of Christian romantic comedy books: Pepper Basham, Toni Shiloh, and Angela Ruth Strong. It was a different conversation than I’d had on Monday. This charming and happy group giggled and laughed throughout their conversation. I was familiar only with Pepper Basham’s books and loved the strong and healthy family ties throughout Authentically Izzy and Positively Penelope. I sat quietly and took everything in. My lurking was on point! As a former lit teacher, I know that even comedic books come with a bit of conflict, and I was curious how these humorous writers dealt with real-life issues as they wrote. I learned a great deal and found more authors to follow and read.
Today, I’m back to a makeup-less existence with wild hair and a ratty t-shirt. My goals today include writing a blog post (check!) and adding another 2,000 words to my WIP manuscript. I don’t need makeup for that.
And I don’t need to fancy myself up to connect to my readers as we talk about the “big things” in life.
I started the morning by connecting with a potential reader who reached out to me. She’d heard that I’d written a book about physical abuse disguised as discipline (No Longer Invisible). In the novel, I mention an infamous child-rearing book that has done more to draw children away from God and their families than anything the world has come up with. I shared the title she was looking for, then remained online to chat with this wonderful and encouraging woman.
Last night, I received a text from a reader asking about troubled teen homes (mentioned in The Art of Persisting), and she expressed her surprise at the similarities of the real homes in the way they are run. She mentioned how many of them are “almost all identical in the way they abuse people.” She wondered if the advertised “80% success rate” touted by one of them was their success rate of breaking people down. I wholeheartedly agree with her assessment.
I spent a lifetime in church hearing about “broken people.” Usually, it was the “unsaved” who were labeled as such. Now, I see that many churches were responsible for “breaking” the people of their own congregations. Many families were broken because parents were encouraged to read books that claimed raising children was the same as raising animals and telling parents to use physical punishment and “psychological terror” to “shape” them. Or they could send their children to places like troubled teen homes, many of which were led by abusive directors. Many parents were prompted to disown children who did not remain in the church as adults.
Many churches today are spiritual messes, and the work to clean them up is multi-faceted. As writers, our work is creating books with relatable characters and realistic conflict. Not everyone reading this will think that a writer’s work will bring about real change. But the written word (fiction and nonfiction) has done that for thousands of years. It’s one of the reasons abusive organizations warn people against reading “unapproved” books.
As a member of a “messy” congregation, I listened to the warnings against reading books of every ilk (popular, suspense, mystery, romance, etc). I can’t count the number of times church leaders mentioned “Christian romance” with a sneer. I even witnessed a history professor of a Christian college claim (from the pulpit) that they were “proud” that one of the “ladies from our college” published a historical fiction book but say in the same breath, “It’s not something I would ever read, but if it’s your thing, yeah, check it out.”
Christian writers tend to speak not only from the heart but from the hurt and the hope of the human experience.
Jennifer Sienes writes books about people starting over after tragedy. Pepper Basham writes about close family ties that protect its members from outside harm while encouraging independence and providing spiritual and physical support. I write about spiritual abuse’s pervasiveness and its long-term effects on believers. All of our books reflect real-world experiences.
Even when people can’t see me, I’ll do my work. And when it’s time for a face-to-face conversation, I’ll put on the make-up. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the message across: breaking people isn’t okay. Abuse in the name of discipline isn’t okay. Harming people in any way (spiritually, emotionally, physically, economically, sexually, etc) isn’t okay. Using the name and person of Christ to harm others needs to stop. Protecting abusers because you don’t want to “hurt a church’s ministry” is covering and promoting sin. Accusing victims (especially when those victims are minors) of lying or attempting to seduce their abusers is gross and evil. Abusers need to be turned over to the police, and the victims need to be protected as they begin the long and difficult healing process.
It goes beyond mascara and blush and being “camera ready.” It even goes beyond the pages of a book. It’s about loving others as Christ loved us–as we are. THAT is the reflection Christian writers want to show the world.
Pepper Basham can write lighthearted ROM COMs because her characters live Christ’s love. The cousins and siblings in Authentically Izzy may tease and joke, but they are also passionately protective of each other.
Jennifer Sienes presents heartbreaking situations where the reader can understand and sympathize with a person’s wavering faith in the midst of hardship, but she also provides her characters with family and friends who will support them while they recover and rediscover the love of Christ.
My characters have “rescuers” (as we all do at one time or another) who become the hands of Christ, lovingly allowing the time to heal.
Writers hold up our mirrors for much more than make-up. We use characters to reflect the lives of those in the real world, letting real people know they are not unseen. They are not alone.
