Look At A Book: Lighter Fluid

Okay, so this week we’re going to do something a little bit different. Instead of highlighting some of my short fiction, I’m going to start a new blog project over the next few weeks: highlighting one of my books in each post! I’ll be going through some background information, the essential details and some fun little tidbits to see if each book would be a good fit for you as a reader. It’ll be nice to take a look back at some of my older works and hopefully, you’ll be able to find something that interests you! So, let’s kick off the first Look At A Book with my first-ever novella: Lighter Fluid.

Lighter FluidThe Essentials

A gritty, emotional high school tale.

Genre: Contemporary, Drama

Age Range: Young Adult

Length: Novella

Main Character: Jey, they/them

Themes: Adolescence, Hardship, Family (or lack thereof), Mental Health, Identity, Relationships

Excerpt

They’d chosen to be alone—that was why their fingertips met the cold concrete of the toilet cubicle’s tiled floor, and, if they stretched, could dance along the material of their backpack, resting against the door. Closer, and they could explore the loose threads hanging out of the stitching of their royal blue blazer, far too big for their scrawny body, unbuttoned and with two sides trailing on the floor. Gradually, that touch on reality restored the bubbles to their origin, quietly hissing and spitting inside their stomach, as they came back into a stable frame of mind.

“Well, are you going to tell him?” Their ears, searching for something to hear, found a conversation a few stalls down, presumably between two students through an open doorway. “You need to, at some point. It isn’t fair.”

“I’ll tell him.” That voice didn’t sound so sure of itself—even they could tell that much. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s my job to worry about you lot, you know that.” There was something inherently caring about the first voice; something warm and unmissably…  “There’s a reason everyone calls me mum.” Yes, that was it: motherly. There was something unmissably motherly about them. “When will you tell him?”

“Soon.” Their dismissive tone was doing nothing to inspire any confidence in their half-promise, and so it remained a half-promise and refused to grow. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“He’s in the canteen. We can go there now.” Their offer was met by a scuffing of shoes against tiles, and a cough which could have only been buying time. “Stop avoiding my eyes, I know when you’re trying to talk your way out of shit.”

“You know me too well.” A nostalgic undertone drove their words, suddenly confident; the confidence was broken down immediately, replaced by cowed guilt.

“Stop trying to change the subject. You need to tell him.”

Steadily, they found that their breathing was returning to normal—had it ever not been normal? It felt like they hadn’t been breathing properly for their entire life, like they were only just gaining a proper appreciation for the air which they had previously taken for granted. It kissed their throat as it entered their body, stroking the flesh until it came to their lungs, which embraced it as an old friend, only truly loved in new light due to absence. What was that saying…? Absence made the heart grow fonder? Whatever it was, they thought, it applied to this situation.

The Background

Lighter Fluid began as a semi-regularly updated project on Tapas.io, where you can still read it today (huge thanks to Mikiwi who really gave me the encouragement to keep going with the story through their amazing comments)! It was also a Camp NaNoWriMo project, which I always find helps out with my productivity. It’s dedicated to… well, as it says, everyone who had to put up with me in high school, so that’s all of my friends and teachers. I drew a lot of inspiration from my time at high school (education from 11-16 years old, if you’re not familiar with the UK education system, haha), although Lighter Fluid’s highs and lows definitely go far beyond anything that I had to go through during that time period. It’s like real life kicked up to 11, while not going into fantasy or sci-fi or anything of that sort. It was also the first book that I uploaded as a free eBook on Smashwords as well as having the print edition available to purchase, which is now standard practice for all of my books.

Is It Right For You?

If you’re not a fan of strong language, mentions of some rather illegal but fairly believable teenage activities, and generally a story set in a UK high school, then this might not be for you. There are elements of romance, but it’s not the strongest thread throughout the book, so if you’re looking for a straightforward romance then this also won’t be for you. Speaking of straightforward, Lighter Fluid is told non-chronologically, with very short chapters or scenes spread across the five years of high school (Years Seven to Eleven) which culminate to create the full story of Jey’s high school experience. Our main character, Jey, uses they/them pronouns, but I specifically didn’t make this a huge part of their character – it comes up in maybe one scene as a talking point, but this is nowhere near the level of LGBT+ focus as Everything Under The Rainbow. If you’re ready to go through the rocky journey of a group of teenagers through high school, making mistakes and just being human, then Lighter Fluid is definitely the book for you.

Oh, and there’s a cat called Kiss who fights the characters’ Head Of Year, in case that piques your interest!

Lighter Fluid can be read for free here or purchased here, if you’d like to support me!

(You can also tip me on my Ko-Fi page if you’d like to help out more directly!)