Learning a Foreign Language by Matt Muth

Learning a Foreign Language

by Matt Muth

published in RHINO, 2016

I needed to associate like with like, object

with suggestion. I needed to be trained. I taped

index cards to my possessions: the nightstand

said onanist, the toilet said equivocator; my desk

was narcissist, and the venetian blinds

were all cowards. I had some nouns, but soon

this was not enough learning: I needed adjectives,

verbs, I needed fluency. Each pair of boxer-briefs

got a false advertising patch stamped

on the codp...