Still failing

I am stronger than I thought I was,
My mind stays focused on my goal,
Breaking through my body's hate,
Feel like it must because,
Every time something,
Happy happens,
Collapses,
Apart,
Fails.

I do have a chronic illness, it beats me down when I try to get up. This is my life and I have to break the cycle of hating myself just because I can't function.