Bits & Pieces
Current situation:
I closed the comments in my last post. It’s okay — it’s going to be okay! While I do love interacting with everyone, long comments can be exhausting; when there are many of them, what happens is that someone comes along and starts quickly responding to everything (as if it’s Facebook) — and my moderation filter gets clogged up.
So then, I’m not only trying to keep up with the discussions, I’m involved with moderating all these new things and trying to figure out what they are even saying, and to whom. And guess what, I have other things to do!
The truth is that most of the things that are said in argument with my point (which was a simple one) are already well aired; things were getting repetitive.
It’s sort of like divorce. We all know that people have difficult marriages. What is never really said anymore is, “Stay married, stick it out, God will bless you in the end.”
Perhaps the reason it’s not said is a) no one likes to say simple things and b) as soon as you do, everyone starts bludgeoning you with exceptions and insisting you deal with every one. And maybe, just maybe, a lot of the difficulties are actually caused because there is not one clear principle that everyone stands behind, e.g., “Marriage is for life.”
In fact, the most repeated comment in dissension from my post (more on social media where I could see what was said when someone else shared it) is, “It was okay, but she doesn’t address this difficulty or that difficulty.”
But we all know that life is difficult. What gets us through — what gets me through — is someone who is a little further down the road saying, “Yes, life is hard, but you can do it, we will help, God will bless you” — it being the thing you were made for, the battle you are in. You know something? My father and mother did not have a sacramental marriage. They divorced and when my mother became Catholic, she did obtain an annulment and had ample reason to. But the truth is that no one helped them. What if someone had had the boldness to encourage them, to acknowledge all the difficulties — which were many — but still stand for what they had? Who knows? But I do wonder…
Anyway, I don’t see any of the people wanting me to address all the difficulties acknowledging how miserable life has become under this regime of being anxious and resistant to babies in marriage.
Far from ushering in a new age of rational, regulated, happy families, the reigning Department of Baby Resistance has made things far, far worse. For the first time in history, people are just not getting married and babies are not getting born, and women are desperately sad. Men are simply checking out.
So it’s going to be okay if somewhere in those ninety-nine point nine percent of the conversations that wallow in all the issues, there is my one percent little point saying “Don’t fret yourself — be at peace.”
(I will be moderating comments here, so think carefully before you add one! Check out the sidebar on the topic of commenting if you are not sure! If you would like to write an essay in response to me, feel free to do so on your own blog!)
Kitchen Renovation Corner
Early next week the inspections are finally happening, so what is really on my mind — choosing all the things — will be much more of an obsession than it already is.
I have quickly discovered that you can spend a mountain of money on things you hardly think about. Sure, we all know a stove is a big-ticket item, but what about sinks and faucets and lighting? Without blinking an eye, buckets of money can fly right out the window!
So I’ve been scouring Facebook Marketplace and making some fun hauls. I promise to share them as we go along. This is just a tiniest of tastes…
I will have, besides five ceiling fixtures, 5 sconces, the least of the lighting choices but woah, easy to get spendy on! And yet, to my mind, super important for that ambience of indirect glow that enhances coziness.
Someone was gutting their home and I landed three of these (with their incandescent bulbs!!):
And two of these (keep in mind that the glass shades can be changed if I want, for mere dollars):
I hope they will add a lot of what I think of as layers of time to the kitchen once I clean and spruce them up. (Do you know about Rub’n Buff? — affiliate link — I think it will be my friend here.) I will show everything in more detail later, I promise!
This was my inspiration for the top ones with the gold lines:
They are available at Olde Brick Lighting.
But, $170… not even particularly expensive for such things!
My “Layers of Time” idea is just that, ideally, the kitchen would have been well built and maintained at the start, but perhaps including already existing objects — a sink brought from another place, a work table given by a family member. Whoever lived here would fix what was broken, rejuvenate materials as needed (for instance, refinishing a good wooden floor), and add good quality things as time went on and the need arose.
Let’s say the family got bigger and another sink made sense. Then one would be installed with lighting around and above it. Maybe twenty years later, someone would travel and bring home tiles that added another layer of beauty to the walls.
When you are doing a total renovation, the natural thing is to get all new stuff and stick it in there. But with everything so pricey, that might not be the best choice, and finding beautiful and useful older things can add those implied layers.
That’s my thought! And it’s cheaper!
From that same person I also got this one, which is hard for you to see but hopefully will be good to replace the old (totally, embarrassingly utilitarian) light outside, over the slider to the deck (that area is also affected by the gutting inside). I hope you can see the potential!
For these six fixtures I paid… wait for it… $60! I am super chuffed!
Speaking of tiles, I found on FBMP 45 handmade Italian tiles, white with a little blue in the corners, that I think could help me wrangle a tile backsplash featuring some intricately decorated tiles that I could intersperse with them.
I can hardly believe that they were $10. For the entire box of 45 tiles!
On the downside, they are 5″ x 5″; most tiles are 4″ or 6″. But I thought it was worth getting them anyway. I don’t have them in possession yet (so that picture is lifted from the listing, sorry); Auntie Sue sent her son to get them for me, as they were in a town near her (and not very near me). She reports that they are very pretty and are in the trunk of her car. A good excuse for us to have lunch together!
I would use them in this fashion (just showing you the pattern — not the particular design):
We’ll see!
Note that while some people profligately tile whole rooms (and in Portugal, famously, the outsides of buildings), this sort of thing, below, has its charm, I feel!
This article has examples of both modes, high abandon and modest restraint.
Recently on Instagram I had some stories in which I detailed my discovery of how rare and expensive decorated handmade tiles are!
Here are some of my inspirations — know that these are mostly random tiles on walls somewhere in Portugal and by no means for sale! I mean maybe you can find four tiles for $1000 — clearly not sustainable.
This feels like a market… I mean! Why would anyone stop making ugly things and turn their attention to universally loved, beautiful and durable objects such as these?!? And make lots of money doing it? And benefit us all? Anyone?
I swoon:
Here are some offered for sale. My heart…
From Dutch Tile:
Mexican Talavera tile, Casa Daya Tile (affiliate link):
I guess they are handmade… but still… honestly I think it would cost less to go to Portugal, Morocco, or Mexico and get some!
Many commented that I should make them (or have Deirdre and John make them), and as utterly impervious as I intend to be to any suggestion that I take up yet another creative project with all its own complications and learning curves, yet I admit — I’m sorely tempted!
Pattern Language Corner
I got this book out of the library: Traditional Construction Patterns. (affiliate link)
It is very helpful. Since the window over the sink will be a much bigger affair than what I had before, and a bit bumped out of the exterior wall (it’s called a Box Bay window, though it won’t have side lights), the ideas in this book are great for the decisions of how exactly it will look.
A well articulated point is that the eye prefers structures to look supported.
Modern design prides itself on withholding this comfort, favoring chunky buildings that look like they could fall on you, flimsy windows that don’t interrupt the thin walls they are set in, and shelves that float.
Christopher Alexander asked the question: But why do we prefer buildings and designs of the past? And then he tried to answer with patterns, so we could move forward making our own decisions based on them.
This book shows exactly how to make that Box Bay feel settled in its surroundings, which I appreciate, because it’s hard to communicate with the builder if all you are able to do is vaguely wave your arms. And unlike A Pattern Language, it includes thousands of pictures!
Quilting Corner
I decided to sew together like patches; shortly after I posted that picture, I tried (once again) a randomized overall pattern and, once again, I got seriously derailed. My OCD cannot handle it. So now I feel I am in a better spot going forward. With this, as usual, plan-without-a-plan quilt!
Then that’s as far as I got, but I hope to get to it again this coming week!
Two notes, totally unrelated to each other:
First: Yes, I did many of these things like DIY-ing old stuff I bought, quilting, and crafting (slowly, and not as well in some cases, because we didn’t have Pinterest and FBMP to inspire and provide cheap stuff, respectively) when I had lots of kids and was busy homeschooling. What I didn’t do was post about it! Well, I couldn’t, because that wasn’t a thing, thank goodness. See my point? Just do it and don’t worry about posting about it. But also, don’t think you can’t be creative — that only people who don’t have kids running around can do such things! I just don’t want you to think it’s impossible unless you are older or what have you. I have posts about how to set yourself up to tackle a project — search “creativity”!
Second: re: Amazon affiliate links: I don’t monetize anything on this blog other than being part of the affiliate program on Amazon. Note that there are zero pop-up ads to annoy you and cause your computer or phone to bog down here. I am not touting products or sponsoring anything. Only if it’s something I actually use do I post a link. That means that if you click and buy something, I get a little bit of money, at no cost to you.
It doesn’t have to be that thing: as long as you are going through the link you clicked on, for 24 hours, I do get something for whatever you buy. So if you would like to contribute to the renovation fund (haha), do use my link! If you don’t want to, that’s fine! Just open your own link to Amazon separately.
On to our links!
bits & piecesHere is a post from Laurel Bern’s blog that shows the extreme upper limit of ridiculousness re: expensive fixtures that represent the most marginal parts of a remodel— and her ways of figuring it out. I say, don’t get hung up on one particular thing, but take the general idea and see what you can find.This post in which the designer Emily Henderson thinks through choosing tiles resonated with me! How she goes through all the stages of decision-making in the tile journey! I love her delicacy towards her husband’s preferences, which turn out to be quite grounded and helpful (in providing a familiar, to me in my particular marriage, healthy male nearly non-verbal ballast against wackiness, so needed by many of us).
I noticed, when I looked at more of her kitchen, that I had already pinned her beautiful antique work island (the first one on this board).By the way, I am pretty proud of how organized my kitchen inspiration board is! I humbly suggest that if you are doing your own renovation, you do something similar and make a lot of sub-categories for your board. It saves a lot of wasted time sorting through a jumble of visuals, many of which you might not remember the reason for saving in the first place. Also, name the whole board “A — whatever” as in “A board for kitchen inspiration” so that it comes up first (the boards are arranged alphabetically) and you don’t have to scroll all the way down to the Ks every time you want to check on something.
Here are the Patterns, online, if you want to peruse.
Sorry, it’s just on my mind (and will be for some time to come; this is an A Pattern Language blog now): A good post about why the book changes everything: Let Christopher Alexander design your life. (But, keep in mind, the buildings he actually designed are a bit odd! Like everything else, we have to have common sense!)
Susie Lloyd wrote this piece in March but I don’t think I shared it! Since school is gearing up again, it might be helpful: 8 Ways to Make Homeschooling Great Again
People asked me about my Mary statue. It’s not large but it is lovely. Deirdre gave it to me a few years ago (it took me quite a while to get it organized outside!).
It can save you money to run your dishwasher at night (also dryer — however, I am not a fan of running these appliances while you sleep or are gone… )
from the archivesRe: St. Gregory Pockets: Take it from me. It’s better just to say, “I [or we if you can rope in one friend, possibly two] will be at this place Thursday from 10-12:30, come join us” than to try to get others to suggest a meeting or even say if they would like to get together. They can’t handle it. They can only just show up (sometimes). Later, after they show up a few times, then they will figure it out. Be brave! And be willing to be there by yourself, which is what you would be doing anyway! This post has all the experiences and advice — read the embedded posts too!
PS. This goes for your idea in your homeschooling group to have a children’s book club or “recess” get-together (you know that recess is kids’ favorite part of school, right?) or sewing club or what have you. Don’t suggest it to your group and ask what everyone thinks. Just decide when you would like to do it and then say, “This is happening at this time and place.” You can always change it later!
Eggplant Obsession — everyone loves it! Try it!liturgical living
Memorial of the Dedication of the Basilica of St. Mary Major
Tomorrow is The Transfiguration! We have a whole chapter on this mysterious feast, by the way, in The Little Oratory!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My new podcast can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. In the current situation, if we can’t meet here, it would be good for us to be connected by email!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
The post Bits & Pieces appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
