The Nearness of You
I promise I won’t post about the deer in our backyard forever…but I think I’ve got two more photos to share, along with a moment that stirred me this morning. Not so much about the deer but about being a mom and what it means to me, how ever-changing and awe-inspiring it can be.
The photo of mama and baby (snipped in above) isn’t the best because I needed to take it through a screen. They ambled by with the first light today and as I made the rounds of opening windows to let the cool morning air in, I paused as I spotted them. I caught myself just before I would’ve startled them with the cranking noises, whirring the window open in hubby’s office. Even so, they spotted me but didn’t dart away. I suspect it’s because baby was too hungry. 
I watched for a bit…as they surveyed me and I felt myself grinning. It takes a lot to prompt a super smile at 5:30 am, but I could feel my cheeks swelling up and then the tears. Baby nuzzled toward mama with a forceful nudge, had her breakfast and then darted away, sprinting across the lawn. She was like a streak of brown, speckled fur.
I watched mama as she kept a close eye on baby’s ‘reindeer games’ – doing loop-de-loops around the trees, falling more than once (demonstrating that she’s still working on the mechanics of her wobbly legs). Baby’s great at the fast starts but stopping and quick turns around the pine trees? Hilarious. Yes – I should’ve tried to capture video, but I was mesmerized as baby ventured further and further away, stopping periodically to see if mama still had eyes on her.
Whether mama grew tired of her position or figured baby didn’t need her in that moment, she sauntered away, heading toward the field. This was an arresting moment for the little one. Wait, what? You’re not watching me? Surveying my accomplishments with pride? On the lookout for early morning coyotes as my protector?
Nope. Mama retreated and baby watched her walk away. Not following, not giving chase. Just watching. And as the distance grew and mama disappeared into the tall grass, only then did baby bolt, rushing toward mama.
When baby approached the window, my peeky spot, she paused to look at me again. I imagined she said ‘hello’ and wondered if I enjoyed her early morning showcase of racing and frolicking. I did, I did. And although I can’t be sure, I think I might’ve said so out loud.
Later I thought about being a mom and how my life has been endlessly enriched by watching another human find her legs, despite the inevitable stumbles. What a privilege it’s been, and I suspect mama deer knows this, too. When you see your most precious one take flight…into the world with courage and strength a wave of wholeness with the universe comes swooping in. Just as much, when our most precious ones seek us out, follow us – not for food or shelter but for comfort. Just to be near? There’s nothing like it.
Happy Tuesday to you…from grateful me.
Vicki 
