Getting Out of My Way

The notion of getting out of my own way is nothing new, but when applied to writing, there’s an extra reveal.  A greater depth of understanding about how maddening I can be…to me.

I put a project on the shelf about a year ago, just when things were coming together, publishing-wise, about “Surviving Sue”.  For a bit, I thought I could juggle both, but I realized quickly that I’m a lousy circus act (no smirking – I see a couple of you smirking).  The manuscript that’s been collecting dust is a fiction piece…with teeny tiny threads connecting to aspects of my childhood.

Plenty of folks have asked me recently about how I ‘survived Sue’ (my mom).  There’s no single answer, of course, but I can share glimpses of resilience through an alter-ego persona.  A young girl who shares many of my traits and quirks against the backdrop of the early 70’s. 

A little YA (young adult) fiction?  Yes, I think so.  A little sci-fi and surreal?  Yes, that too.  As I sit back and consider the worthiness of the 17,000 words I’ve written, I’m at a crossroads.  One I know many others have faced.  I see three options, maybe four:

Do I peek into the project that held my attention long enough to pen several chapters, deploying a casual mindset…like a first date: I care, I don’t care. Meh.Do I discard with impunity…more than sidelining but disregarding it altogether? Disavowing any knowledge. You’re dead to me, you unworthy manuscript, you. Or (and you knew this was coming):  Do I pick it up again, embrace it and motor forward.  Find the mojo and the magic that propelled me months ago.  Kick the tires, see if she’s still got some gas in the tank. Sigh. But wait. Maybe there’s one more option!I could crowd source my decision.  Send the draft to my beta-reading friends to seek their input.  But if I’m honest, I can predict what most will say.  Even though it was months ago…months that have the magnitude of a year.  Maybe more?  I’ll hear it’s readable…it’s worthy and intriguing with a dose of humor. For fans of the 70’s (hello, Barbie movie) there’s a good bit of mod-flower-power imagery, too. Vicki au courant and trendy!

Here’s the issue.  I need to confront myself.  No dilly-dally-dancing and debating.  If I can find the nerve, I already have the answer.  Ray Bradbury provided it long ago when I first encountered his wisdom about writers and intuition.  Yes, I imagine he’s speaking directly to me as he says:

Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way.

Ray Bradbury

Because I’m me, I add another line.  Just from Ray to me, making sure I get his point:

Write it. Don’t write it.  But decide.

Imaginary Ray Speaking to Vicki

Am I the only one who has imaginary conversations with muses and guides?  Tell me I’m not. 

For today, I’m going to embrace Ray’s wisdom and dive in.  I think a cold read will reveal all, so I’m gonna summon my courage and resolve. 

If you don’t hear from me for a few days (joking!) it’s because my intuition swept me out to sea.  Maybe mercifully as I say goodbye to a ‘darling’ or because I caught a wave and got out of my own way, prompting me to write, write, write.

If you’ve got wisdom to share, I’m all ears. Thanks so much!

Vicki