Wed. July 19, 2023: Why, Yes I am Ranting Because I. Am. Done
image courtesy of Gerd Altmann via pixabay.comWednesday, July 19, 2023
Waxing Moon
Pluto, Saturn, Neptune Retrograde
Foggy, a little cooler, wildfire haze, sun trying to burn through
This is a ranty, burn-it-all down post, so you might want to skip it.
I keep thinking we’re much closer to August than we actually are.
And hey, I’m out of ink again, because of course I am. And I’m having massive keyboard issues with the laptop.
Today’s Process Muse post details the Tracking Sheets I keep for my work. You can read it here.
Today’s serial episode is from Angel Hunt:
Episode 51: Transformation
Lianna shapeshifts into something she fears.
Had a slow start yesterday. All I wanted to do was sleep.
Managed to get out an LOI for an interesting project. The pitch letter took longer than I would have liked to put together (since it was an impulse anyway), but we’ll see. Heard back from someone else from the Small Business Expo who is interested in getting together, so I offered some potential dates.
I’m very burned out on social media, which is not a good spot to be in with a new serial launching next week. I’m hoping to make it through the launch and then take a bit of time off, except for posting serial promos. I’d hoped to take most of December off from social media, but I don’t think I can wait that long. I’m burned out now. I don’t want to be snarky toward people who are just doing their thing (even if it’s not my thing) because I’m in a bad space of burn out. At the same time, I have to give the serial a good launch.
I’m trying to take a breath, be more mindful of SM time, and then, once DD is out in the world, take a good portion of August away from social media, aside from posting episode promos. Probably around the time Mercury goes retrograde, since it overlaps with Venus retrograde would be a good time to be away from all those platforms.
Spent a lot of time working my way down my email box. Polished, uploaded, and scheduled more DD episodes, which gets me into March of 2024. I’m about halfway through uploading/schedule Season 1. The first big mystery arc is done, and I’m into the second, smaller arc. Which feels pretty good.
Wrote and submitted my book review; got my next assignment. Worked with some new tools for the flyer; I think I’ve almost got it, if I can get the image a little more transparent.
Got another defensive, patronizing email about the grant distribution being pushed back yet again. I am so frustrated with them, with the fact that they won’t even try to solve the problem, and that we’re punished if we question them. And the whole thing of being paid in the order in which we sent the paperwork is bullshit, because people who didn’t submit their paperwork until May got paid in June. My paperwork was confirmed in MARCH. Again, if there wasn’t a strike and I had the script coverages coming in, it would be annoying, but not a problem. But the way it is handled is so disrespectful to those of us involved. And gagging and threatening us, demanding we be grateful for it all, instead of working with us to mitigate the problem is something that is not acceptable. But with both the grant delay AND the WGA strike, it means I have to push projects back and refuse other opportunities (some of which I will never be offered again) and that’s frustrating. Especially because if they gave us the right information in the first place, I could have planned (although the strike would have still thrown a wrench in, but strikes are supposed to be inconvenient). I’ve got the rest of this month covered, I don’t need to panic, and there are conversations about client work for early August, but until there are signed contracts, I’m not counting on anything.
I had a good cry about it and went back to work. Because I don’t have the luxury of “not writing every day.” (Yes, that bullshit is being promoted by “writers” on social media again). I have to earn a fucking living. This whole wave of “writers” deriding those of us who do write every day because we need to pay our bills and keep a roof over our head is just another form of bullying. I don’t give a flying fuck if you don’t write every day. It’s not my business. Unless we’re on the same project; then I’ll kick your ass if you miss a deadline. I’m busy with my own work. But it’s my profession and I have to show up and do the work every designated workday, just like any other job, even while loving it. How nice that you have other sources of income and only write when you feel like it. It’s a luxury. I don’t ever want to hear someone put down those of us who do write every (scheduled work) day and then whines that they “don’t have time to write.” Fuck. Right. Off.
Yup. Definitely need a break from social media.
I’m not in the “I have matches, we ride at dawn” phase. I’m at the flamethrower phase. The rocket launcher phase. Because I am DONE. And the retrogrades and oppositions are ratcheting it all up. With Venus going retrograde at the end of the week, and another Mercury retrograde looming in mid-August, it is going to get ugly.
This particular Venus retrograde, being in Leo, is about pushing back and saying, “I am not diminishing myself anymore so you feel better.”
Did too much of that in my last location and I. Am. Done.
It’s interesting that in my previous location, I ran into this type of bullying constantly in person. Now it’s more online, because the in-person community in this area is more supportive of each other and each other’s working styles and need to cover the basics like food, shelter, etc.
If you want writing to be your only job, which is harder and harder in this climate, you need to treat it like your second job and put in the time, the work, and the craft until it is your only job.
A lot of people prancing around on social media claiming they want to be writers don’t. They want to “have written” and they want fame and money. They are usually the biggest bullies, because they know they CAN’T make a living at it, and therefore resent those of us who dig in and do it. And they intentionally pervert and misinterpret the “write every day” advice because they know they can’t cut it, they like to hide behind excuses for why they aren’t writing, and they want to feel morally superior. A non-writing friend to whom I was venting said he thought it was intentional sabotage toward early-career writers to thin out the competition.
I think some writers genuinely encourage all of us to have a more balanced and healthier relationship with our work. Most of us need that, whether we work in the arts or not. But many of the people encouraging others not to write every day (which means writing on designated workdays, not that you can’t have breaks and weekends and stuff) have agents negotiating large contracts and/or live off a spouse or partner’s income. They have the luxury of other income. Those of us in the trenches every day fighting for survival don’t.
Very similar to all the crews affected by the strike, whose jobs are also on the line if the studios get their way and can AI every damn position and only pay talent and crew for a single day. It wipes out entire professions.
And you know what? When I was working on Broadway, which was a LOT more hours than a typical 9-5 job with only one day off a week to get everything lifey done, I still wrote almost every damn day. Days that had two shows plus day work, it might only be a few sentences, but I did something.
And then I had a perfectly nice conversation on social media with some working writers about having to clean the house, and different parts of the brain working differently when we work at the desk and when we work while doing something like cleaning.
Spent some quality time going through Substack posts and trying to catch up. I’m nowhere near caught up, but I gave it a shot. I wrote two pitches for guest posts on other stacks. Heard back from one almost immediately; I’m in the queue, and she will send questions out in a few weeks. I haven’t pursued guest posting opportunities in far too long, in general, and I should open A Biblio Paradise back up to host guest posts again, next year.
Later this week, I have to get ahead on Process Muse posts again. I’m hoping, in early August, to block off 2-3 days and do a dozen or so. I have topics well into next year; I just have to get them written.
I’m putting aside blocks of time and setting timers to go through the Substacks piled up, and I find that’s helping. I found a timer function on the laptop. Be very, very scared.
The wildfire haze is bad, and it’s setting off the smoke alarms.
Had a double yoga session this evening; the regular Tuesday session and then a new moon yin session. Everyone who came in was saying, “Oh, it’s been a DAY” to the point where we all started laughing and feeling better about our collective bad day. It gave us the room to release it and have a better evening.
I made it home about 5 minutes before another huge storm came through.
Not happy about all these waivers SAG-AFTRA is granting. They take the teeth out of the strike. The producers will just gobble up finished product.
Wrote a few pages this morning on an outline connected to a future season of DEADLY DRAMATICS that dropped into my head last night. It’s built around the Cannes Film Festival (I went one year, as part of a team on a project and it was quite the experience), so that will be fun. And it’s a pivotal point in Nina’s slow burn true love arc.
I am off to see a friend’s art exhibit today. Yes, I checked with Tessa. She gave me permission.
Have a good one!
