WHEN DO I GET MY OWN WEEKEND AWAY?

And, for that matter, and for fairness, when does Dave get his?

I was surprised last year to find that someone I knew took weekends away by herself to “be with my book.” Wow.

And she’s not talking about writing a book folks. She’s talking about reading one.

Of course, she’s childless by choice, and not trying to be an entrepreneur, and has a partner who takes turns with her being the one home with the dogs.

But, the thing that is amazing to me, is that it occurred to her to take some time away, when she can fit it around her job, more than once a year, to read a book. It occurred to her that she needed time by herself, and she takes it.

I’m a mega introvert, so I know I need time to myself, but I keep giving it to everyone else.

I took about three hours yesterday to go see Asteroid City, and to have dinner out, and I felt these things when it was over:

I should have done more work, and sooner, before I left.I love Asteroid City, and I wish I had more time for my own writing.It might be better to be better at fitting in funWhy does getting where you want to go take so long?Is 9:30 too early to go to bed?

We’re still, to some extent, in the same position we were in Delaware: our child made friends at school with an immigrant (literal immigrant… visa and all) from a very different culture (the child is completely Tik Tok up to date with my daughter; her parents are not) and another child who is either a 1.75 generation immigrant, or a 2.0 generation immigrant, depending on how you look at it, but, basically, a citizen whose parents do not think of English as their language. The salient point for my post being that they don’t let their kids go hang out with anyone not in their family, either of them.

And so, for me, going off out of the house and not coming home for a few days and doing something, even something not considered fun by my child, like working on my book all weekend (writing it not reading one), feels impossibly cruel to me in the face of a bored and lonely child. So, like many parents, I am trying to enjoy my summertime child, and also waiting for school to start back.

And then there is the job of making all the pieces fit:

Dave’s full-time job takes a large piece, and of course, fits before everything else, and the rest must bend around it. In life, we all accept that compromise once we become working adults.

Then will be school, school work, and the commute.

Then editing…. my work, which is not tied to a specific time or place.

Of course pets who need care and feeding, but also fun and affection and attention.

One thing that is interesting about going to a place like Idyllwild, where pretty much all of the people eating in the restaurants are wealthy people taking a break, is how much attention they give their pets. Usually it’s dogs, but sometimes you see cats on leashes or in baby carriers, and sometimes something more exotic. But, these folks spend a lot of time and money on their pets. The pets are frequently dressed, and dragged along everywhere. I love Oliver, and he is adorable, but, as much as he doesn’t want to be more than two feet away from me, he also doesn’t want to lay on the floor of a restaurant deck while waiters and other patron step over him, and other miserable dogs eye him glumly form under other tables, and they all drink from the same disgusting spit-bowl. Dogs in restaurants…. WHY IS THAT A THING? The dogs universally look anxious, and physically unable to get comfy, while the owners sit above unaware and unconcerned, sipping mimosas. If you’re dragging your pet to brunch, I’m not coming.

To be monied and have all the free time in the world and do nothing with it…. seems a waste in my mind. But, I guess more un-monied people are creative than monied. Though you’d never know it from the celebrities writing children’s books, right?

It’s not enough, though it has to be, to have an hour or two a week that you steal from the rest of your life to try to squeeze in a little writing. It takes a full and empty day, in my opinion, just to slough off all the responsibilities, and then, as long as the coffee is good, and the company is non-existent, you can get down to it.

May we all get a few days to ourselves each year, in a row, with no one in them, for writing.