I’m probably known as ‘paper bags except for the wine and two liter Coke’ in all the grocery stores in town.

bad

I really don’t like bringing groceries home from the store in plastic bags–except for Coke and large bottles of wine which fall through paper bags–and the cashiers have gotten used to this. Goodness knows I’m probably not their most eccentric customer.

Of course, there are environmental reasons not to use plastic. In addition to that, if you put a cart full of groceries in the trunk in plastic bags, you’ll have a mess by the time you get home. So, I put my groceries in the back seat. The paper sacks stand up nicely on the seat and the plastic bags with the sparkling water, 1.5-liter wine bottles, and 2-liter Coke bottles fit in a containable pile on the floor.

When the checkout people see me coming, they reach under the counter for the paper bags. I seldom have to ask. At Publix, the checkers want to take the groceries out to the car because I look old and feeble. I skip that service because they want to put the stuff in the trunk where it will all fall over and get confused when I say I want the food on the back seat. It’s simply better not to have to explain it.

I saw an old couple (older than me) come out of the store this morning with plastic bags. They opened the trunk and, as it turned out, there were cartons in there that kept the grocery bags contained. Smart move. 

good

Many stores have reusable bags. Not too bad, though they don’t keep the groceries under control as well as paper. They tip over in the car no matter where I put them, spilling out everything. A genuine bad scene, as we used to say.

One thing about being old is this: people expect weird behavior, so I don’t get a lot of push-backs from clerks about why I want my groceries bagged up differently than 99% of their customers. Looking scary and eccentric has its benefits.

Plus, I’m pretty much deaf and know how to swear in Gàidhlig, as in “Falbh do dh’ifrinn airson a h-uile rud a tha fo chùram.”

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell’s novels are set in the Florida Panhandle when we didn’t have plastic bags but we had the KKK. My conjure woman can take care of them.