I Moved and Now the White Claw Bandit is Out of a Job

I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated and I only have myself to blame. Ever since the move, I’ve had a hard time adjusting to a new schedule for life. The move-in process has been slow-going and every time I start to get some work done around the house, I get overwhelmed and have to stop.

I did summon enough energy today to do my Sunday chores and while I was washing dishes, I realized that today was the 9th. It’s not an important date, but it means that June ended a little over a week ago.

It dawned on me that when I moved back in April, I unwittingly triggered the end of an era. Specifically, the end of the mysterious White Claw deliveries. 

Yes, for the past three years, I have been the lucky recipient of monthly deliveries of the beloved hard seltzer known as White Claw. And no, I don’t know who was behind it. They came and went like a ghost in the night, leaving me and the entire internet* baffled, confused, concerned, and a little amused.

*By the entire internet, I of course, mean my Facebook friends, anyone who was reading my blog in 2020, and my co-workers both current and former.

If you are new here and have no idea what I’m talking about, I encourage you to read: “Do You Want Basic White Girls? Because This is How You Get Basic White Girls” and “The Return of the Basic White Girls (And They’re Pissed)(But Not Really)” which explain the beginning of the phenomenon.

For the three years I lived in my old apartment, I received a case of White Claw on a monthly basis with absolutely no explanation. I got bored with writing about it after my second blog post and stopped updating my friends on Facebook after a few months. But my lack of updates did not deter my mysterious benefactor. They just kept coming.

But now, dear readers, I have moved from my home. And with that move, the era of the White Claw Bandit has come to an end. Who was this mysterious benefactor? Was it a secret admirer? A mischievous neighbor? A White Claw executive trying to boost sales? We will never know.

But let’s take a moment to reflect on the absurdity of it all. Who just randomly sends someone a case of White Claw every month for three years? It’s like a modern-day version of the Phantom of the Opera, but instead of haunting a theater, they haunt your fridge.

I have to admit, it’s been a little sad not discovering a fresh case of White Claw on my doorstep every month. It was like a twisted Christmas came early 12 times a year. But at the same time, I’m relieved to finally move on from this bizarre chapter of my life.

So to whoever was behind the White Claw deliveries, I say thank you for the laughs, the confusion, and the alcohol. And to everyone else, keep your eyes peeled for your own White Claw Bandit. Who knows, maybe they’re out there waiting to bring a little joy (and confusion) into your life.