The Do’s and Don’ts of An Office Romance
Because so many people spend most of their timein the workplace, it is understandable how some individuals find pleasureand excitement in the office.
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According to studies done in the UK, one in three people hashad a romantic relationship with a colleague, and 28 percent of working womensay they have had sex in the workplace.
However, secret trysts in the boardroom andchance encounters in the lift (elevator) can bring despair and intrigue to yourworking day.
Whether you are already romantically involved atwork, or just thinking about it, here is how to be ten steps ahead of heartache,embarrassment, and job loss.
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Leave him if he is married. Youwill win very little support for your relationship and you can risk hiswife/girlfriend turning up at the office with a large tin of paint for yourcar. Relationship psychotherapist Phillip Hodson says: 'It's not a crime tofancy someone, but when there are families or other halves involved, you must thinkof the consequences.'
Flirt discreetly. Discretionis the key to a successful office romance. Brushing past someone or a stolenglance over the photocopier is far more enticing than draping your body overhis desk. Remember, people are watching. Subtle flirting allows you to maintainyour professionalism and keep an air of mystery between you and your object ofdesire.
Anticipate responses. Misreadingthe signals can be catastrophic. Is he smiling at you, or does he smile ateveryone? Be aware that many people put on a 'friendly' mask at work. You riskenormous embarrassment and possibly your job if you proposition the boss and hedoes not know who you are. Do the groundwork. If you think he is interested,build up a friendship. It will improve your chances for a long-termrelationship.
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Decide whether to confide in colleagues - If you do not wantto be a regular feature of office gossip, it might be best to tell a few closecolleagues about your romance. That way people lose the intrigue and friends willnot feel excluded. However, workplace relationships can incite envy.
Think carefully about sex in the workplace. Itis all part of the package of an office romance, but if you do not want yourcloakroom exploits broadcast at the Christmas party, look out for securitycameras. It is better to save the passion for after-hours.
Watch your appearance. Donot try too hard to catch his attention. It only takes a bit more lipstick anda slightly shorter skirt for people to start chatting. If you do not wantcolleagues to suspect your motives and to avoid malicious comments, keep yourlook discreet.
Be careful with e-mails. Hitthe wrong key and the entire building will know how you like your strawberriesand whipped cream. It is likely that your company can access your e-mails, therefore,be cautious.
Beware of company law. Althoughthere are no specific laws that prevent office romances, your company mighthave its own policy.
Richard Isham, an employment lawyer at Wedlake BellAssociates, says, 'Office romances are usually frowned upon because of theissue of confidentiality. For instance, a company would be worried if the headof IT was in a relationship with another employee. Important securityinformation could be transferred during pillow talk. Allegations of misconductcan be made.'
Firms could also argue that office relationshipsencroach on company time and disrupt the office environment. Some employerswill expect you to change departments. Read your contract thoroughly.'
Ask him to marry you. Accordingto research, half of all workplace romances result in marriage. Try not to seemtoo eager, though. It is wise at least to ask him out before you ask him downthe aisle.
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Make sure you are the only one. Phillip Hodsonsays, 'With any office romance', you have all your eggs in one basket; you arevery vulnerable.'
If you are going to risk your career, friends, and livelihood, then make sure he is worth it. If you know you are not thefirst office conquest, steer clear.
Worse, if you did not know, give yourself timeto cool down. Do not sit there plotting a Lorena Bobbit type of revenge, concurrentlyweeping uncontrollably. Talk about it after work with friends or family.
Would you engage in an office romance? Please leaveyour comments or opinions below.
