PSA: On Internet Trolls on Reddit
I want to begin this post with a disclaimer. I know that it is so easy to forget that not everything is about you. More and more, I’m realizing that next to nothing is actually about me, especially when people are treating me less than kind. Our behaviors are responses to stressors and lately, life has been incredibly stressful. It’s been stressful for so long and we’re all anxious for a victory, no matter how small. All that anxiety and sadness and guilt and regret piles up into aggressive behavior that explodes at different times. Navigating emotional landmines is treacherous and exhausting in all different kinds of ways. And seriously, that’s why everybody just needs to be kind.
The internet is not kind; it is mostly an awful place, as of late. That’s not a revelatory statement. People think they can post whatever they want about whatever they want, and they can with little to no consequence. However, that does not mean that what is posted is harmless.
My family would not wish this life on anybody. On the morning of February 28th, 2021, Madelyn Grace Wagenhoffer was a perfectly healthy and happy little girl. That afternoon, everything changed. The doctors told us there was no hope and that we should let her go, which meant removing her feeding tube and letting her starve to death because she was never declared “brain dead” (which is a dubious term at best) and she had a heartbeat. Once the sedation was walked back, Maddie was breathing on her own. Still, the doctors told us to let her go; that she’d never see or hear; that she’d never know who we were; that she’d have no quality of life.
Maddie has proven the doctors wrong on all counts.
A large part of the reason why Maddie has been able to do so is because we’ve pursued alternative treatments and therapies rather than strictly adhering to mainstream medicine. Hyperbaric oxygen therapy with Dr. Harch in Louisiana stopped the damage to Maddie’s brain from getting any worse. A stem cell treatment with Dr. Proefrock in Arizona kept Maddie from succumbing to RSV. Laser treatment with Dr. Crawford in Texas increased her awareness. The multiple MNRI conferences we’ve attended in Florida have truly helped Maddie improve her tone, integrate reflexes, and also become more aware. Stem cell treatments in Mexico have also increased awareness and movement. Besides being consummate professionals, these compassionate caregivers never gave up on Maddie. They saw a future instead of dollar signs. That’s why we’re currently in Monterrey, Mexico undergoing another alternative treatment; we will try anything if there’s a chance Maddie could improve. Some might call that desperation; it’s not. It’s determination–as long as there’s life, there’s hope, and as long as Maddie’s still here, we’ll keep pursuing every single avenue of restoration and recovery.
There are some on the Internet who disparage us for these choices. They saw we’re dumb and we’re being taken advantage of by “quacks.”
I never ever wanted to be a part of the brain-injured community, but I thank God there is one and that I’ve met wonderfully loving and intelligent and impossibly strong people who get it. We can empathize with one another and share information and resources. We’ve walked similar paths and can be honest about which treatments were effective and which treatments resulted in disappointing outcomes. We can do that because we know what we’re talking about. We’ve sat in waiting rooms, walked down hallways, watched our children change. We’re not idiots; we’re loving and empowered caregivers.
I understand I’ve put Maddie and my family out there whenever I post the GoFundMe and its updates, or link it to this blog. But it’s transparent. Internet users who have questions or comments are free to comment on Maddie’s Facebook page, GoFundMe page, or even this blog instead of hiding behind blue light screens, virtue signaling from keyboards, and spewing vitriol about people who walk a path I would not wish on anyone.
That’s it. That’s the post.
Also, everyone should watch the Netflix documentary, “Take Care of Maya.”
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