Pushed vs. Pulled

Good morning, Fellow Nudgees. Yeah, it's definitely time to come out of hibernation. I personally know spring has officially arrived when the following three things happen:

(1) The honeysuckle blooms in profusion. The aroma is more intoxicating than a crisp Johannesburg Riesling.

(2) Jim's allergies kick in and the wailing and gnashing of teeth begins. No one can do the aforesaid wailing and gnashing like a retired Navy SEAL so I provide him with Kleenex and medication, say, "Baby, I'm so sorry," and then put on my Bose noise-cancelling headphones and listen to Il Volo. Are you familiar with the three young (hot) Italian tenors? Pure unadulterated romance.

(3) I get the undeniable urge to shop for clothes. I only get that urge twice a year. I set aside a certain amount of cash, spend until it's gone, and then I'm done. This year I'm going for skinny capris (post menopausal skinny, not teenage skinny), mid-thigh length tunics (to cover up what isn't skinny), long strands of bright colored beads, and flats.

If there are any guys still reading, that's it for the fashion statement. I'm about to go into something more spiritual/cerebral in a minute.

When we last talked here on the blog (it was only last Wednesday . . .  just sayin' . . .), we were on the subject of how to know what's next when you're in sort of a liminal space. I got an insight into that which I want to run by you.

My dear friend Crystal is largely responsible for this. She was helping me process some of my struggles and at one point she made what I think is a brilliant statement:

            "You're being pushed where you don't feel pulled to go."

    If I were preaching a sermon I would repeat that. Since I'm not, I'll count on you to read it again. Speaking of preaching, if I might digress for a second -- a secular reviewer of my newly released The Whole Guy Thing said my advice in the book was "Gently but unapologetically preachy." I don't even know what to DO with that!

    Anyway, back to pulling and pushing. I've thought about this a lot and observed my own physical reactions to the choices that lay before me. Here's what I've come up with so far.

        * When I'm PUSHED, I resist, viscerally. My jaw ratchets tighter when it's "suggested" that I talk more about my personal life on my Facebook Fan page because some readers want to know everything about the author before they'll read her books. Yeah, that's a recipe for TMJ right there. When I'm PULLED, I feel stretched out of my comfort zone but it's  a yoga-like stretch. I don't feel as if my arm is being yanked out of its socket.

        * A PUSH feels manipulative. If you do this, this and this you'll get attention and people will buy your books. A PULL feels like ministry. If you do this, this and this, people will be drawn to God.

        * A PUSH comes out of desperation. If this book doesn't sell you're done. If you're not a constant prescence on social media, people will forget about you. If either of those happens you will starve and die, or you will have to work at McDonald's and even at that you will still starve and die. A PULL comes out of true desire. To reach people who need a hand held out to them. To inspire them. To make them laugh and cry and consider. To do the work I've been given to do.

        * When we're PUSHED, somebody has it all planned out. These are the steps you need to take. When we're PULLED,  we kind of have to just go with it. The "steps" are the spiritual disciplines that allow us to see and hear what God's up to.

      * People PUSH.  God only PULLS. Even the NUDGE is just a gentle indication that we need to be aware that a PULL is iminent. 

    That's the best litmus test I've ever come across for discernment between leaving my comfort zone and learning something new, and a panicked attempt to do things that are clearly not me and will never be me and were never meant to be me.

    What do you think, Fellow Nudgees? Does that work for you, or do you have another way of figuring that out? I know some of you clearly hear God and others get an undeniable sense of peace or unrest. For those of us who need something a little more physical (as in, we are dense!)  I'm thinking there's something to this. Tell us what you think, yes?

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue