Just For Fun — Choose Your Weapon!

A few months ago, I was cleaning blinds and listening to some comedy sketches when I heard a hilarious story that took place in Florida “Local Man Robs Wendy’s with Alligator”  The man was eventually charged with Assault with a Deadly Weapon. I don’t know how that case played out because the funny part is robbing a fast food joint through the drive through with an freaking alligator as a weapon.

This basic story was true, you can look it up. The man had picked up an alligator that day–where??? I don’t know because I’ve never once wanted to have an alligator . But this guy got himself an alligator, and while it was in the car with him, he then decided to rob a Wendy via the drive-through because, clearly, he’s a efficient genius. If you stay in your car, then you shave off the time you would have spent running to the car and getaway faster, right? Anyhow, apparently he got a soda, and then he didn’t want to pay for it. And that’s when he picked up the alligator and threw it through the window. Then he drove off.

He was later caught and arrested. Dang, who could have guessed there was video surveillance? It could happen to anyone!

So I checked the story out, and yep, it’s true according to newspapers. Even better — his mother defended him and insisted it was a prank. I’m sure the three and a half foot alligator and the poor clerk had a good laugh about it. For the record, they were both fine (although they may both have some PTSD after that!) The nicest thing I can think to say is this mom may not be helping her son as much as she thinks she is.  Yeah, let’s leave it there.

But this story got me to thinking, if I was going to be arrested for something like assault with a deadly weapon with something really stupid, because lets face it this whole plan was stupid, what would that weapon be?

Luckily I have actually thought of this: My rolling pin! You see, this rolling pin is special. Wizard got it for me as one of the first birthday gifts after we were married. A. Rolling. Pin. For the record, I said thank you Let me just say that Wizard has improved significantly in the gift giving department! He’s actually better than me at coming up with good gifts! But that rolling pin has been a family joke for decades now and in a weird way, I cherish it. It’s a heavy, old fashion one that could do some real damage. Even better, it’s unlikely to hurt me in the process! So that’s my stupid weapon I’d be hypothetically arrested for.

What’s yours?

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