Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classic issue #148 (published August 21, 2003): "A hall pass for Nirvana."

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Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classic issue #148 (published August 21, 2003)

A hall pass for Nirvana.

Giant Squid: Notes From The Giant Squid: Hey Ladies!

by the Giant SquidDearest Giant Squid, some advice on the fairer sex is needed for I am in dire need of your wise counsel:

Why do I always pick one of two women:

A- Lesbians

B- Women with boyfriends

C- Red heads

and how do I avoid this conundrum?

I assume it's a curse from my fore-fathers, who were sea-faring vikings, for I have fallen many times also for the red-haired fiery women of Irish and Scandinavian descent. Please help me.

Your Dear Admirer And Loyal Companion,

Rick Delicious

Delicious Rickard,

Of initial mostforth interest to me, in this query, is that you begin by announcing a problem two-parted, and then name three parts of that two, going one in excess, in parts, of the named size of the whole. This confused greatly, until I recalled my own treatise brief and true on the matters of numbers, their significancies. . . .

Fiction: Tokens of Affection (part 2 of 2) by Terence S. HawkinsEveryone was suspect. I couldn't ask the girl at the desk at the gym for a second sweat towel without wondering whether she was spending her free time at the xerox. I wondered whether it had to be a woman at all. Recently a male MFA had taken to following me around the weight room until I was driven to lacing my conversation with phrases like, "Jeez, aren't tits great?". . . .

Poetry: The Unknown by Secretary of Defense Donald RumsfeldAs we know,

There are known knowns.

There are things we know we know. . . .

Rant: Political Selections from:
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY (part 2 of 2) by Ambrose Bierce(Abridged in 2003 for Modern Readers and Those with Taste and Grit by Morgan Johnson). . . LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LIAR, n. A lawyer with a roving commission. . . .