Tuesday Tirade: Celery

Disclaimer: The events in this story are pure fabrication and are for entertainment purposes only.

I was in the grocery store the other day (yesterday, actually) buying food (why else would I be there?)
Some stores sell clothes…
(Oh yeah). I bought a head of lettuce, a bunch of carrots*, and a bag of apples—

This is a boring story.
It gets better.
Does it?
Nah.

I paused in front of the celery display. I like celery, I thought to myself, but I don’t like $4.99 celery. Then I thought, “What do you call a bunch of celery? A ‘bunch’? That doesn’t sound right.”

But it has to be. “Pick up a few stalks of celery. Pick up a bunch of celery.”

It still sounds weird.

Anyway, “Five dollars for a bunch of celery?!”

Ridiculous.

-Leon

*If I said “carrosts” would you chuckle because you get the obscure reference?

Leon Stevens is a multi-genre author, composer, guitarist, songwriter, and an artist, with a Bachelor of Music and Education. He published his first book of poetry, Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures in January 2020, followed by a book of original classical guitar compositions, Journeys, and a short story collection of science fiction/post-apocalyptic tales called The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories. His newest publications are the novella trilogy, The View from Here, which is a continuation of one of his short stories, and a new collection of poetry titled, A Wonder of Words.

My new book page: http://books.linesbyleon.com/

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