A Vision of Learning by Lady Dilke

This week we return to the works of Lady Dilke, an early feminist, socialist, and horror writer. The following story I think is a useful parable, perhaps to be told to apprentices in the Ars Magica game to convince them to remain at the Covenant rather than going to University

Thanks to Ben Tucker and his production team.

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There was once a boy who was born to all the joys of the South, and day and night he
was glad of his life till in his dreams he had a vision of Learning, even as she appeared to men in the lands of the far North . Ever after this he was aware of something wanting to him ; at the first, he scarcely knew whether it were so or no, but thenceforth with every hour his need
became plainer, till it mastered him, and, turning his back upon the sun, he passed over mountains and rivers, and vast plains teeming with the life of cities, and nothing stayed him till he came to the Northern Sea. There he took ship, and crossed the narrow strait which divided the land in which he was born from that island shrouded in the Western mists, where, as
he had heard, Learning held her court.

When he landed, the ghostly wreaths of fog which hang for ever about those coasts
arose and embraced him . But, though he felt their kisses on his lips, he was not
dismayed, and pressed forward on his way till, after two days’ journey, he saw, rising
amidst the woods and waters, the towers and spires of that town wherein , as he believed , Learning herself abode. And the people of the town came out to meet him and welcomed him, and when he entered within their gates he marvelled to see the beauty of their city, nor could he praise sufficiently the lordly ways and noble buildings which he beheld on every hand ; but
at the last he spoke and said : “ In which of these palaces, I pray you, hath Learning
herself her dwelling – place ? “

Then all these people answered him as one man : “ All these be her palaces, and we are all her servants, and dwell within her walls.” And they conducted him within the portals of one of the fairest, and coming to an inner court they led him up many stairs, and opening the door of a little chamber, they bade him welcome once more and left him.

When he was alone he was surprised, for the chamber allotted to him seemed scarcely such as one should have been found within a fabric so splendid in outward seeming ; and the staircase by which he had ascended thither had appeared to him very dark, and so narrow that two could not have stood abreast upon its steps ; but, in his humility, he deemed it only fitting that one who as yet could scarcely claim to be the least among her servants should find no
spacious lodging in the house of Learning. And as he thought these things, looking from his window he saw close opposite to him the grey and crumbling walls of an ancient chapel, pierced with windows of many – coloured glass, and behind the windows he saw lights moving in the gathering darkness, and as he looked he heard voices chanting.

And he said with joy : “ Lo, day by day every dweller within these walls lifts up his soul in the praise of the beauty of Holiness. When Holiness hath become my portion, and Learning
herself hath looked upon me, then shall I have entered into my reward , and shall beas one new -born .” So he became a student i n that place.

But when many days and months had passed and he saw not Learning, nor even so much as the skirts of her clothing , a great doubt came upon him which made his soul very heavy . After long silence, he spoke to the doctors and teachers and masters and said : “ Surely, sirs, Learning hath left you for space ; she hath gone upon a journey, or is holding her court in other lands. ”

But the doctors and teachers and masters were angry at this, crying out : “ What strange folly
hath possessed you ? By whom, then, are ? our words inspired ? In whose name, too , we pray you , do we bear rule over this Shall a student who is as yet a dweller but in the outer courts put questions to us ? ” And they said also : “ When you have gotten to yourself all the knowledge of the schools, then may you look to enter her sanctuary.” At this the student was abashed , and he thought : “ In the days to be, when I have gotten the knowledge of the schools, I shall, perhaps, as these have said , discover her sanctuary .”

This was in the summer. Now , though there was no heat in the summer, yet it was very close in the little court wherein the student had his chamber. Often in the evening he would walk in the dusk below his own windows, and on one evening he remained thus walking till it was well nigh dark .

Just as he turned himself, thinking that he would go once more within, he heard , on a sudden , a voiceless shriek which filled the air with terror, and looking whence it had come, he saw , perched on the edge of the decaying battlements which encompassed the roof of the chapel, a bird , in shape like to the birds which were common in his own land ; but never before had he heard one that cried in such a fashion — a note of warning, of fear, of agony! So standing there white to the lips — for the hideous sound thus breaking upon the silence had
shocked him – he watched and listened, thinking that if it should cry again the bird
might perhaps utter the low appeals, the idle chatter, and the laughter with which it had been wont to fill the dusk at springtide in the South . But the bird was silent, and presently spreading its wings, soared far away . Then the student longed to follow it, and for a while he believed almost that it had bidden him do so ; but at this time the masters praised him, saying he had done well, so he remained .

The summer drew to a close, and the woods lost their leaves, and the rain fell in torrents every day, so that the sky of that country, never very bright, had become an inky grey, and the waters without the walls of the city rose and flooded the adjacent meadows. The student could now
longer go forth beyond the gates, and there were but few dwelling in the inner court where was his chamber, so that when he looked out all was empty and silent, and the windows had that eyeless aspect which gives a ghostly air to uninhabited houses.

And, sitting in his chamber, he listened to the perpetual dripping from the eaves, and as the heavy raindrops fell they seemed to smite him, for though he had now gotten to himself much of the knowledge of the schools, and the masters and teachers and doctors spoke fair things of him, yet he knew in himself that he was none the nearer to his purpose.

Sometimes, now , in his weariness he would close his eyes, and for a little space it would be to him as though he trod once more the sunny slopes of his ancient home beyond the seas, and in the breeze the blossoms of the cistus floated as if they had taken wings to meet him in his joy, and all around him there arose the scent of thyme and of lavender and of cassia, and his nostrils
pricked with the resinous odour of the dark pines, and he saw their slender columns standing black athwart the silver sky. But when, dreaming thus, he had almost for gotten the vision which had lured him to the North, the dull, metallic echo of the raindrops falling from roof to gutter awoke him, and there was pain in his awaking.

When the autumn was far drawn into winter, it so happened that, rousing himself from one of these fits of stupor — which had now grown common to him the student went to his window , and looking up he counted, as he had often done before, the lines of a black network formed by the branches of a leafless tree just where the sky was to be seen in a little cleft between
the roof of the chapel and that of the court.

As he gazed on this, the motionless empty grey of the rain -clouds was stirred as it were by something moving, and slowly , on broad black wings, once more a bird — a bird this time of evil omen – came through the sky and settled down upon the branches. Then the student thought of that other bird , and half he expected to hear again its cruel note ; but this one remained silent, only it ruffled its black plumes and folded its wings. The movement which it made as it did so was like to that made by the doctors and teachers and masters, as they
wrapped their robes about them and took their seats in a place of honour, and the student called to mind how many questions he had asked of them , and in vain . Yet it seemed to him as if this bird had a message for him, and knew , perhaps, more than they all of the vision which he had seen in the South.

Then he began to be curious about the tree which it had chosen for its resting – place, and in the wildness of his fancy he thought : “ If I can but find the place in which that tree hath its root upon which this bird hath chosen her seat, it may be that I shall then discover the sanctuary
of which all the doctors and masters and teachers have spoken .” But whilst he was still looking on the bird, the snow began to fall, and in aa little while both the bird and the tree were hidden from sight.

It now became his chief thought how he might enter the court which lay on the farther side of the chapel, and from which he, like others of his age, had always been excluded ; so he went down at night (for not even the snow , which fell heavily, could keep him from trying the adventure ) and strove to find some way by which he might pass ; but though he succeeded in
opening a little iron gate hard by the door of the chapel, he was stopped at the end of the passage into which it led by another which he could by no means unfasten.

Night after night did the student continue to essay this second gate, but the fastening was difficult, and there was no light in the sky by which he might have seen how to handle it ; the snow, too , lay always on the ground, and the unaccustomed cold was very bitter to him. At last, there came a great storm of wind , which cleared the sky, so that the moon, then in her full, showed forth all her splendour, and on that night the student, when he went down, found
that he could open both the gates with ease .

So he entered straightway into where there was a garden, only all things were covered with the snow ; except where the drift having been swept to one side by the great storm of wind, there was, as it were, a path before him leading into the shadow cast under the farther wall. Looking about, he saw that the garden, like the courts of the building within which he dwelt, was shut in on all sides by high walls, and seeing no issue, he was daunted; when, on a sudden, the bells in an old tower on the farther side chimed with a solemn tolling sound, and there arose an echo of that sound from the other side of the wall, and looking again more steadfastly into the shadow , the student was aware of a little door in the wall, and hastening along the path and coming to it he found it ajar, and pushing it open he stepped within, and knew that he was in a graveyard.

The graves , of which there were many , were all open , and in each there sat men clothed in robes of black or of scarlet, which were strangely bright, trailing in the sheets of snow all dazzling with the moon beams. They were holding with each other high dispute, and the sound of their voices in the frosty air fell on the ears of the student like the echo of passing bells.
But he was full of his quest, and after a little pause , going up to the nearest, he said : “ Tell me, o master ! where shall I find Learning ? ” And he who sat in the grave shook his head, but he answered not, neither did he lift his eyes. Then the student went to the next, and said : “Tell me, have you seen Learning ? ” and he likewise answered him not. Then the student turned to a third, and said , with a great agony of praying : “ Answer me, I beseech you , have they , the masters, teachers, and doctors of this city-have they seen Learning ? ”

At this all the ghosts shrieked with laughter, crying out : “ Neither to them , nor to us, nor to any
that have ever abided in this city hath Learning revealed herself . ” And the sound of their voices crying thus was as the knell of his soul.

So the student, seeing at his feet an open grave in which no one sat, asked no more, but saying, “This is my place,” he laid himself down in it.

On the morrow , when he was missed, a great search was made for him , nor was it long before he was found. When they had found him they upbraided him with his folly , but he replied : “You are all liars, and now I know you for such ; for neither you, nor those that went before you,
have ‘ at any time seen Learning in this city ; the dead have spoken, and have put you to shame.”

At this all the doctors, teachers, and masters declared : “ He is mad.” So the student was bound hand and foot, and they carried him to a mad house, and there, because he was very violent, they put chains on him, and the reproaches of his ravings were very terrible to hear, and by no means could the wrath of his tongue be appeased.

For many years he remained in this state, but by chance there came a woman who felt great compassion and sorrow for those in suffering and in bonds ; frequently she visited the mad – house, and brought at the least some word of calm or look of pity to the afflicted. It was a long while before the keepers of the house would suffer her to speak of approaching the student, for they feared lest evil should befall her from his great violence. In the end, however,
she persuaded them to take her to him.

And they said to her : “ Should he ask you if you be Learning, then you will do well, perhaps, to humour his folly, and to make answer that it is even so , and that you indeed are she. ”

So, bearing in mind their cautions, the woman entered the student’s cell, and on the instant, even as the keepers of the house had foretold , he as ked her if she were not indeed Learning herself come to visit him . But she, seeing him so all distraught and well nigh dead for Learning’s sake, was filled with a yearning of grief, and , forgetting all their cautions, she cried out : “ God forbid , my poor lad ! I am but Love.”

And at these words the student began to weep bitterly.

Then the woman , without speaking, took from her bosom a red rose and put it in his fingers, and the student, taking it, made as though he would have carried it to his lips ; as he did so his chains rattled loudly, and lifting his skeleton arms to heaven, he seemed once more about to call down curses upon men, but the scent of the flower changed his purpose, and he
turned his face to the wall in silence.

Then the woman prayed that his chains might be taken off him, and before she left him she had prevailed , and this was done ; but on the third day, when she returned to know how he did, she was told, “ He is dead, ” nor could she learn the place of his burial .