Spring 55: bad
Dearest Zann,
Worst day yet as a Rosolla Guard. I was supposed to pass today’s time in one of the vaults under the Comet Halls, guarding some artifact or other, with a fellow named Bharc. When I got there, though, no Bharc. It was a pair of ex-soldier types named Trall and Carsaduam. They watched me approach. I had tasted this kind of situation before. The way they were looking at me.
Nobody else was around.
They were going to thrash me, I could tell. Maybe even kill me. I considered just turning around and fleeing; that’s what I’d normally do. But, no, this was part of what Candur wanted me to find out about the Guard; I had to see more of it.
My obvious first question for them was, “Where’s Bharc?” and I wasn’t going to ask it. I don’t believe in letting my enemy know anything about myself, but these fellows were part of my order of guards, and the sooner everyone got the idea that I knew my way around, the better.
I stopped well in front of them. They didn’t have their swords out, which was good. The truncheons in their hands were less good. “Who sent you two? Shapdar or Crell?”
They were surprised. “Neither of them,” Carsaduam said. “We just don’t like you.”
Trall stepped away from Carsaduam, trying to block me in. “‘Tsright. The Captain likes you though, doesn’t he?”
“Lots of people like me. I’m great.”
“Well, Guards don’t like you. You’re shit. Think you’re better than us. You don’t belong in that uniform.”
I angled myself so I was only facing Trall, with Carsaduam far behind him. “Not your decision.”
“Here’s my decision,” Trall said, lashing out with his truncheon. I jumped back, but he was quick and caught me a smash across the leg. It really hurt, and I fell. I didn’t expect him to attack me so soon.
The two of them darted to stand over me, but I rolled and stood.
“You’ve still got a chance,” Carsaduam said. “You can quit. Just go home. And then you’re out of it.”
“Oh,” I said. “Sure, I’ll quit. I’ll do that right now. If that’s all it is.” And I moved to go.
Carsaduam shoved me with his hands and truncheon, and I couldn’t dodge. “Not yet. Not that easy.”
“You might forget, and show up at the palace again tomorrow,” Trall said, thumping me in the stomach. I doubled over, and they kicked me to the floor, and hit me, and hit me.
It was awful. I covered up as much as I could, and tried to keep them from hurting me while making them think they were hurting me a lot. But they did hurt me a lot. It lasted minutes. At the end of it I was bloody and crying.
“Now go home,” Trall said. “And don’t come back here. If you do, we’ll find you, and then you’ll never go home again.”
I tried to get to my feet, but it hurt too much, even leaning on the wall.
“Look at him crawl,” Carsaduam said. “Didn’t even try to fight back. Who’d make him a Rosolla Guard?”
“Mousepiss weepy little shit.”
I didn’t know what to do, and I was crying tears of pain and frustration and shame, but I knew I couldn’t give up on the Guard, because there was one thing, the one thing I don’t even dare tell you about, that I felt even more strongly. If they beat me every day I would keep coming back, and I just had to hope they wouldn’t kill me.
Love,
Ybel
