Book Review for Something Sacred I Lost by Emmy Vine

I received a free copy of this book from the author. This does not affect my review in any shape or form. 

Something Sacred I Lost, by Emmy Vine, is a romantic drama detailing a young man’s struggles to heal from his trauma and the woman who chose to push him to confront said trauma. Damian is a horse trainer who carries the weight of his past, fixing it to him like a ball and chain, as he struggles to carve out a life for himself. Lilia is a young college graduate who decides to pursue Damian, and after learning about his past, stays with him to help him confront it. The novel shows the complexities of what it means to love someone who has a very good reason not to trust anyone, as well as how difficult it can be to stand up to your former abusers.

In the beginning, it was hard to get into the book, mainly because of how, dare I say it, sheltered Lila is from mainstream society. She’s had a very privileged life, and there were times where she comes across as, unfortunately, a spoiled brat. I say the same for Nia, who, based on her reactions to Damian’s abuse, had almost caused me to put the book down entirely. There were also times when I felt Logan himself was in the wrong, primarily because he revealed Damian’s business to two complete strangers, as far as he was concerned. There were better ways to handle Damian’s behaviors, and that wasn’t it. Personally, I don’t think the romance between Damian and Lila should’ve been as prominent as it had been. While I do think it’s important for readers to see how Damian’s behaviors and triggers looks from the outside (i.e the party), I didn’t think Lila’s perspectives should’ve been included as much as it was in the plot. I feel that it detracts from the story as a whole, and draws the readers away from Damian’s narrative. 

That being said, there was a lot of things I liked about the book as well. I liked how realistic Damian is in terms of portraying someone who has experienced trauma, and how panic attacks could be triggered by almost anything. I loved the resilience he displays, especially when he’s trying to carve out his own path in spite of how almost every trusted adult in his life betrayed him in some way or another. I love how protective he is of Tommy. He had contemplated on taking his life multiple times, and yet, by the end of it he came out strong, primarily because of Tommy and Lila and all the other social supports he had now. I’m also glad that the Vine had showed just how different people’s reactions to hearing a man being abused are, in contrast to a woman being abused. A woman gets sympathy, while a man gets humiliation.

I also feel I have to add a tidbit here about Rufus; it’s very common to see men who have narcissistic tendencies to harm themselves simply because the object of their (unfortunate) affection is standing up to them and no longer desires them. And there have been cases before, in that when an abuser doesn’t get what they want, they will self-destruct, whether it be by drinking, having unprotected sex, or doing drugs. In this case, Rufus’s self-destruction here is very literal. This contrasts with Kat, who really is entitled and feels she should have everything she wants. It’s an interesting dynamic here; normally (for my clients anyway), it’d be the man who acts like Kat and the woman who self-destructs. Men tend to choose more destructive methods in ending their lives, but again, Rufus and Damian and Kat are their own beings. 

Honestly, I would’ve given this book a higher rating. But the way the friends, especially Lila, handled the abuse was a turnoff for me. The book did improve by showcasing just how resilient Damian had become, but I felt like Vine could’ve done a better job at focusing more on Damian, rather than others. As such, I would give this book a 3 out of 5 stars, and would recommend reading this book alongside other aids such as Victims No Longer by Mike Lew, The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Lauren Davis, and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency, and Complex PTSD by Linda Hill.