FATE IS FLUENT IN IRONY

 

Captain Richard Blaine and Sgt. Theo Savalas have narrowly escaped a firing squad only to be given a suicide mission.

Now, what does New Year's Eve, 1944, have in store for them?

FATE IS FLUENT IN IRONY

“Sometimesyou lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.”

- Ulysses

 

GeneralBradley fixed me with an eagle’s glare. “You’re Army. How did you come to betrained to operate a midget submarine?”

Again,Sentient was silent so, I gave what seemed to be a reasonable explanation. “Therewere orders.”

“Oh, so thoseorders you followed?”

“They gotme away from Major Laska and that was more than enough incentive for me.”

“I canbelieve that,” the general snorted.

As ifsensing that I was winging it with my answers, he asked, “Are you telling methe truth?”

I wasgetting weary of Sentient leaving me to fend off questions whose answers onlyShe could know. “Adolph Hitler wrote that the victor will never be asked if hetold the truth.”

Bradleylooked taken aback. “You read the writings of Hitler?”

Ishrugged. “Sun Tzu wrote ‘knowing your enemy is the first step in defeatinghim’.”

“Iforgot. According to that MI6 report, you taught for a year at West Point.”

Now, itwas me that was taken aback, I tried for a blank face and drawled, “I sometimesforget that myself.”

Sentient mockedinside my mind, ‘Records are so easily forged in your primitive society. Ineeded an explanation for your rank and for your fluency in German, Russian,French, and Japanese.’

Bradleyshook his head. “With your credentials, why aren’t you still teaching there?”

Sgt.Savalas snorted, “He probably had the same winning way with his superiors therethat he has with Major Laska here.”

Bradleyfixed him with a hard look and the sergeant cleared his throat and added, “Ah,sir.”

Thegeneral tapped a folder on his leg absently. “Well, your superiors andinstructors in the Navy were quite taken with you, Major Blaine.”

“Ah,that’s Captain, sir,” I said confused.

“No,Major Blaine. I said what I intended. Battlefield promotion is within mydiscretion. I want to see the look on Laska’s face when I tell him of your newrank.”

Hegrowled low, “Presume to order me, will he?”

Bradleyturned to Savalas. “And you are promoted to Sergeant Major.”

Now, itwas Savalas’ turn to be shocked … and with good reason: Sergeants Major made upless than 1% of the Army and generally consisted of the most experiencedleaders in the enlisted corps. There were nine enlisted ranks in the Army, andyou must be selected over your peers across the entire Army throughcomprehensive promotion panels to reach this prestigious rank.

Bradleygruffed, “These stars of mine do come with some privileges along with themigraines. If I say you are a Sergeant-Major, Savalas, then, by God, you areone. Let Laska chew on that and choke.”

I thoughtthat Bradley promoted the man to Sergeant-Major instead of First Sergeantbecause the “Major” to the rank would be a mockery of Laska’s own  … and would gall the man to call Savalas byhis new rank.

He turnedto me and said softly, “I’m just sorry that I can’t retrieve the letters fromthat girl of yours that Laska has confiscated.”

“W-What?Helen, ah, Miss Mayfair has been writing me?”

Bradleynodded sadly. “Without fail. Mails them every Wednesday according to agentCloverfield’s MI6 report.”

I feltthe blood drain from my face. “The day of the week we first met.”

Sgt.Savalas looked odd. “I never knew you had a girl.”

“Thanksto Major Laska neither did I until just now.”

Bradleysighed. “Cloverfield managed to get a peek at one her letters. I think that galof yours has a bad memory.”

Hebrought up the paper he’d been tapping against his leg.  “Where was that paragraph? Oh, here: “Yourhair seems all colors, a grove of trees in autumn, deep brown, and wine-red.”

Bradleychucked softly, ”An untrimmed tangle across the top of your head. Yourcheeks pale without being anemic. Full lips eternally in an amused smile atsome jest only you hear. You look like a friend; like someone you have knownall your life.”

He shookhis head bemused. “You look like Jimmy Stewart to me.”

Sgt.Savalas said, ’The Captain looks like Tyrone Powers to me right now.”

He ranlong fingers over his bald head. “Funny thing. No one can seem to remember whathis face looks like after he leaves them.”

Bradleysnorted, “This girl of his seems to.”

Savalas’face flinched as if slapped as he murmured, “Maybe only true love remembers.”

Thegut-sick look to his face suggested his love had proven not so true. Or maybe therewere holes in his life in the shapes of a sweetheart or a friend who gave adamn which had never been filled.

Bradleyshook his head. “Now, look what you two have done. You’ve made me hope you comeback alive.”

Hesighed, “Well, Major Blaine, do you have one last quote for me before I sendyou both off to your deaths?”

Sentient,of course, was silent, so once again I had to wing it.

It was agood thing I had spent so much time with a lovely librarian. “War: first, one hopes towin; then one expects the enemy to lose; then, one is satisfied that the enemytoo is suffering; in the end, one is surprised that everyone has lost.”

Sgt.Savalas scoffed, “Who the hell said that?”

“KarlKraus, an Austrian writer, journalist, and poet. He was nominated for the NobelPrize in Literature three times.”

Bradleylooked over our heads into the distance, seemingly seeing things I did not wantto know but figured I soon would. “He should have won. He was right.”