Our Second language in the Military

My friend, Neil Doc Keddie, posted this short piece on our Facebook group page – Brothers of the Nam. I found it hilarious and want to share it with you.

Warning: Rated for Mature Audiences. Lots of Foul Language.!!!!

F*&k!!!! Yes, you heard me right. Certainly, we all knew how to cuss and swear before entering the service. But once we reached Basic Training, we began to see it and use it like it was a second language, which, of course, it was. For many of us, the words and especially the phrases were something that before we had no idea existed. No longer were we a group of trainees. Now we were “every Swinging Dick.” Before we were in the service we used to gather in groups to talk and socialize, but now we were a “Cluster-Fuck, and that “one round would get us all.” Certainly Basic and AIT were like beginning courses, but once we landed in-country, we became fluent. F&*K was no longer just a declarative word, now it became every part of speech there was. So much so that we could make an entire sentence with just that word –so it was all at once noun, verb, adverb, adjective, exclamation mark – indeed the whole works.

Cussing became secondary in nature. I can remember pulling Sick Call at the Aid Station on Firebase Arsenal and taking care of a guy who was suffering from a case of “Jungle Rot.’ Apparently, this was not his first time suffering from it as he wanted to know if we could give him some of the “Shit” that he had used before. The Doc and I looked at each other and then at him and asked “shit?’ Yes, he said that “Super Shit” that he had rubbed on it before. Oh! we said, “The SUPER shit” In fact he really wanted some of the “Super Fantastic Shit.” So, while he sat there, I turned around, grabbed a tube of ointment, got a label, and wrote “Super Fantastic Shit” Use 3 F&*KING times a day.

While we were there we even came up with words that seemed rather far-fetched. While talking with one of the Medics one evening he began to tell the Doc and me about a movie that he had recently seen in which the female lead had “big-assed titties.” “Big-assed Titties? we asked —“Exactly what are those? I forget how he described them now, but it was funny to hear.

One of the great parts of Battalion Training was the fact that for a few days, there was a reunion of the Medics. One of the things that were always good fun was all of us getting together to pull “Battalion Sick-Call” in the morning. On one occasion we had a “Cherry” who we gave the job of writing up the “complaint” of those who came for treatment. We started getting charts that read “rash on balls,” boil on ass” and “pain in dick.” It was funny to read but we had to caution him that these charts were part of the patients’ permanent records and would go with them wherever they went.

Of course, the day finally arrived when we got to go home. In so many cases, we were out of the bush and back on the block in just a few hours. There was no time to detox before we returned to our homes and families, and this posed a problem. It was difficult to get back to speaking in a civilized manner. I found myself saying things like “Could you pass the fu-fu-fu, could you pass the mashed potatoes,” or “What’s on the fu-fu-fu-what’s on TV. After a couple of weeks my mother pulled me aside and asked, “when did you pick up that stutter?” I came up with some lame excuses, but it was a challenge to get back to my old primary language.

You can kind of tell by the photo below that the three of us were accomplished speakers of our new language.

What other examples can you think of? Leave them in the comment section below.

Taken on FB Birmingham. 1970–Doc Gardner, Doc Probst and Me–Doc

If you are interested in seeing more about the slang terms used in Vietnam, then check out the most popular post on my website: https://cherrieswriter.com/2014/02/13/military-speak-during-the-vietnam-war/

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