Friday Funnies: I Just Want to WRITE!

Hello My Happy People,

I have been feeling the stress lately of trying to keep up with everything. As a writer, I just really want to write most days, but being a one woman show and all the marketing and business aspects I have to deal with, it seems like the least amount of time in my budget is spent on actual writing.

It's a Catch-22 situation. I need to write books to be able to sell those books, but I need to market and network to get people to learn about me and be able to find my books to buy them so I can write more books that will also need to be marketed. All while keeping up the website and social media presence so people can find out about me and my books and find where to buy them ... makes me tired just thinking about it all.

Today I think we need jokes about writing! I know I can use the laugh myself. Have a great weekend people and cross your fingers that I will have some great book updates next week!

Now it's time for the jokes ...

Enjoy,

Dianne

Q: Since you became a full-time writer, have you made any sales?

A: Oh yes, quite a few, my car, my house, my saving bonds …

Q: What blood type do proofreaders have?

A: Type O.

Q: I heard you published your first book, what are you going to buy with the money?

A: I don't know ... a soda?

Q: How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: I don't care what you think, I’m not changing anything!

Q. What do you get when you give a writer with a publication deadline?

A: A very clean house.

Q: What’s it like to be try to build a writing career?

A: Honestly, it’s difficult to put into words.

Q: What do you call an author who has health insurance?

A: Married.

Q: Do you think writers are tolerant people?

A: Oh yes, my alcohol tolerance has increased significantly since I became an author.

Q: How is editing and parenting a toddler the same?

A: In both cases you read the same damn book over and over and over.

Q: What is usually gross, bizarre, and could put you on an FBI watch list?

A: An author's internet browser history.

Add last but not least ...

Q: Can you tell me how to make a small fortune in publishing?

A: Sure! First you start with a large fortune…

Johnny Carson & Betty White in Funny Skit, Female Reporter in Locker Rooms

"Tonight Show" - 1978 Johnny Carson

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Angela R. Hughes, Historical Epic Fantasy Author (EP 70: June 14)

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Donna Edman, Photographer/Visual Storyteller/Author (EP 71: June 21)

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LM Wilson, author of The Last of the Spirit Drakes (EP 51: Feb. 1)

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LeRoy A Peters, author of The Edge of the World Series (EP 52: Feb. 8)

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C. D'Angelo, Author of The Difference and The Visitor (EP 53: Feb. 15th)

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Val Collins, author of the Aoife Walsh Books (EP 54: Feb. 22)

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Kirstie Page, Visual Storyteller/Artist (EP 55: March 1st)

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Lance Steen Anthony Nielsen, Author of Diamonds in the Sky Series

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David Gibson, PhD FRSB, Author of Planting Clues: How Plants Solve Crimes.

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Linaya DiNoto, Science Fiction Author of Lithaflora: The Chrysalis: The Forever After Series (EP 59: March 29)

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Kelly Florence, Screenwriter/Podcaster and Co-Author of 5 books in The Science of Series

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Stephanie LaVigne, Cozy Mystery Author of Headlines, Deadlines, and Lies

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Nzondi (Ace Antonio Hall), horror author/actor/musician (EP 66 & 67: May 17 & 24)

Nzondi (Ace Antonio Hall) website

Benecia Ponder, author coach and bestselling author (EP 68: May 31)

Benecia Ponder website

Diann Floyd Boehm, Children's Book Author/Educator/Podcaster (EP 69: June 7th)

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