Best Practices I Ignore
Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. I hold no designations in politics, economics or medicine. I am retired from the mental health field. I am a humanitarian and speak from that viewpoint only. Whether you agree with me or not, at least I hope it makes you think. This week I look at the best advice I ignore and other of life’s anomalies. These are not things I always ignore…they are things that I tend to sometimes find myself having to ignore and why it might be useful. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…!
The world is busy telling everyone that they need to step away, ignore others, you only get what you give; hate those who are different from yourself. Money is King … or Queen as the case may be and the crown is constantly up for grabs. Often you see the motto of give up, give in and follow the crowd. Some people they say are born bad, some say they are made bad…and some think it lies between the two extremes. These are all maxims that are bandied about. I believe love can move mountains. I like to think that there are some things worth fighting for. No matter how bad things are, there are still second chances that can happen and you can move forward. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. You cannot heal those who do not want to heal. You can only show the path. Either they will accept it or they will not. Sometimes one has to fight everything to help find a path that allows moving on. It is a spirit battle and there is no clear winner or loser except if they choose to find the wisdom. Sometimes one has to suspend belief and follow the calling of the beating heart. Sometimes one has to tell truth that no one wants to hear. The path to wisdom is determining the direction of that path. The problem is that sometimes exhaustion, continual work and running in the same standards just spins wheels. The more the wheels spin, the deeper one digs into the mud. The mud covers everything. The wheels get stuck in the mud. Nothing moves. People fight to move forward and yet the wheels just dig deeper. Sometimes caring is to wait and try again later. Sometimes it means walking away if you think you are making things worse.
The worst part of this is trying to figure out where the line is to be drawn. How long do you allow yourself and those around you to be beat up trying to make a difference? Sometimes tears are not enough. Sometimes pouring your heart and soul into something results in no movement. Sometimes you have to sideline your path to take care of other business. There are times when things are too fresh to deal with it. There are times when others do not love themselves enough. There are also times when fear keeps them from moving forward. Life is a balancing act. One can only give and hope that it changes one little corner of your world. It doesn’t always mean that you will get instant results. But, there is potential that the one act can create ripples that open other hearts to the possibility of making change. Sometimes the change is for others who see the wisdom. In this case, there is a win.
People always are talking about putting your own needs first…and then you can help others. There are times when even this gets put to the wayside to try to give hope and comfort to another. I would willingly open metaphorical doors and free someone from bondage in their own minds. Imagination is a great super power. But, when is this wisdom and when is it insanity? I have yet to find that fine line. It does not stem from a need to please people, though it is nice when I can do so. I often don’t care what people think of me. Let’s face it, it is a solitary path and makes me push against the wind. If people want to send the white jacket people for me, no one would be able to argue against it. Yet, I continue to not mind my own business and offer consideration for others. I continue to help those that have need of me. It can be overwhelming. Yet, I know I have to follow the flame that I see before me. It calls and I follow its call. It is a choice. I choose it daily. I will choose it unless it disappears. I do it willingly. I have to give myself to the direction that is demanded of me. I know the potential pitfalls of the path, at least some of them. I can see the road blocks…and not always perfectly. That is self-evident. Anyone following my Twitter knows that I have strange creative bursts of energy and sometimes humour.
“If you don’t love yourself, how the he** you gon’ love somebody else?” RuPaul. It is funny how one can find so many quotes that suggest that one should care for themselves first…which is important. Yet, they don’t acknowledge what things make up self-care. They also don’t acknowledge that there are situations when this is not a possibility. “With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” Susan Weiss Berry. Perhaps I do not understand the true essence of self-care as I find when I have success in helping another, I feel better about life and everything around me feels different. Is this my self-care? Who knows? I never had a good sense of this. When the world is out of balance, things feel unbalanced. It is like reawakened trauma. It is like being in a world of chaos. Thoughts and feelings act as though flying around in the stratosphere. There is no anchor and the storm is continual. It gets out of hand.
As Andrew Grove is credited with saying, “How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood.” It is important that one know the substance of the conversation. If someone is talking about harm and they do it enough, someone is bound to believe them. This isn’t an excuse, it is a fact. Then when there is chaos, one is left with the impression that something quite negative is about to go down. Often this results in miscommunication, mistrust and chaos. This may not be a good thing. Situations occur where someone may understand one thing, when another completely is meant. Things spin out of control. Then the next communication is misunderstood and before we know it, as Henry Powell Spring is credited with saying, “The Spirit and Beings continue unselfishly to maintain life upon our planet, restoring us nightly, and forgiving us our wilful blindnesses far beyond our spiritual or bodily capacity of repayment. If the Spirit, Who is Life, exacted an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, this world would indeed be peopled with the blind and the toothless.” An interesting thought when we live in a world where children are used against parents, people who are different are put on high alert and there is no balance in the conversations. I still put out my truth because you never know if there is some benefit to someone and the universe is a mysterious place.
Even when all else fails, I am what I am, I do what I do and I continue to do it. Maybe someone needs it. Maybe I’m just spending time online amusing myself. I am needed when I am needed. Otherwise, it is always interesting to see what usefulness is and that it is only gauged by others. I make my own decisions in this. I cannot make decisions for others. I cannot make decisions without having input. But, I make my own choices and I cannot account for the choices of others. You cannot make a wish and find what you wish for and then decide that it isn’t a fit for you. You can, but then what do you wish for? Will you wish for bigger, better, faster? When will you be enough? The gift doesn’t go away. The ability doesn’t go away. Love doesn’t go away. It comes in all sizes, shapes, colours and denominations.
The ultimate question is “who are you and why do I care?” Bender (Futurama). The ultimate answer is how much does it matter? It is easy to care; it is harder to care responsibly without using and abusing the privilege. The challenge is to know how to make that choice and when it is right for us. The challenge is to become who and what we are intended to be despite obstacles and despite ourselves. The last part is the one that is most difficult to overcome. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
E. Jean Simpson
The world is busy telling everyone that they need to step away, ignore others, you only get what you give; hate those who are different from yourself. Money is King … or Queen as the case may be and the crown is constantly up for grabs. Often you see the motto of give up, give in and follow the crowd. Some people they say are born bad, some say they are made bad…and some think it lies between the two extremes. These are all maxims that are bandied about. I believe love can move mountains. I like to think that there are some things worth fighting for. No matter how bad things are, there are still second chances that can happen and you can move forward. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. You cannot heal those who do not want to heal. You can only show the path. Either they will accept it or they will not. Sometimes one has to fight everything to help find a path that allows moving on. It is a spirit battle and there is no clear winner or loser except if they choose to find the wisdom. Sometimes one has to suspend belief and follow the calling of the beating heart. Sometimes one has to tell truth that no one wants to hear. The path to wisdom is determining the direction of that path. The problem is that sometimes exhaustion, continual work and running in the same standards just spins wheels. The more the wheels spin, the deeper one digs into the mud. The mud covers everything. The wheels get stuck in the mud. Nothing moves. People fight to move forward and yet the wheels just dig deeper. Sometimes caring is to wait and try again later. Sometimes it means walking away if you think you are making things worse.
The worst part of this is trying to figure out where the line is to be drawn. How long do you allow yourself and those around you to be beat up trying to make a difference? Sometimes tears are not enough. Sometimes pouring your heart and soul into something results in no movement. Sometimes you have to sideline your path to take care of other business. There are times when things are too fresh to deal with it. There are times when others do not love themselves enough. There are also times when fear keeps them from moving forward. Life is a balancing act. One can only give and hope that it changes one little corner of your world. It doesn’t always mean that you will get instant results. But, there is potential that the one act can create ripples that open other hearts to the possibility of making change. Sometimes the change is for others who see the wisdom. In this case, there is a win.
People always are talking about putting your own needs first…and then you can help others. There are times when even this gets put to the wayside to try to give hope and comfort to another. I would willingly open metaphorical doors and free someone from bondage in their own minds. Imagination is a great super power. But, when is this wisdom and when is it insanity? I have yet to find that fine line. It does not stem from a need to please people, though it is nice when I can do so. I often don’t care what people think of me. Let’s face it, it is a solitary path and makes me push against the wind. If people want to send the white jacket people for me, no one would be able to argue against it. Yet, I continue to not mind my own business and offer consideration for others. I continue to help those that have need of me. It can be overwhelming. Yet, I know I have to follow the flame that I see before me. It calls and I follow its call. It is a choice. I choose it daily. I will choose it unless it disappears. I do it willingly. I have to give myself to the direction that is demanded of me. I know the potential pitfalls of the path, at least some of them. I can see the road blocks…and not always perfectly. That is self-evident. Anyone following my Twitter knows that I have strange creative bursts of energy and sometimes humour.
“If you don’t love yourself, how the he** you gon’ love somebody else?” RuPaul. It is funny how one can find so many quotes that suggest that one should care for themselves first…which is important. Yet, they don’t acknowledge what things make up self-care. They also don’t acknowledge that there are situations when this is not a possibility. “With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” Susan Weiss Berry. Perhaps I do not understand the true essence of self-care as I find when I have success in helping another, I feel better about life and everything around me feels different. Is this my self-care? Who knows? I never had a good sense of this. When the world is out of balance, things feel unbalanced. It is like reawakened trauma. It is like being in a world of chaos. Thoughts and feelings act as though flying around in the stratosphere. There is no anchor and the storm is continual. It gets out of hand.
As Andrew Grove is credited with saying, “How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood.” It is important that one know the substance of the conversation. If someone is talking about harm and they do it enough, someone is bound to believe them. This isn’t an excuse, it is a fact. Then when there is chaos, one is left with the impression that something quite negative is about to go down. Often this results in miscommunication, mistrust and chaos. This may not be a good thing. Situations occur where someone may understand one thing, when another completely is meant. Things spin out of control. Then the next communication is misunderstood and before we know it, as Henry Powell Spring is credited with saying, “The Spirit and Beings continue unselfishly to maintain life upon our planet, restoring us nightly, and forgiving us our wilful blindnesses far beyond our spiritual or bodily capacity of repayment. If the Spirit, Who is Life, exacted an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, this world would indeed be peopled with the blind and the toothless.” An interesting thought when we live in a world where children are used against parents, people who are different are put on high alert and there is no balance in the conversations. I still put out my truth because you never know if there is some benefit to someone and the universe is a mysterious place.
Even when all else fails, I am what I am, I do what I do and I continue to do it. Maybe someone needs it. Maybe I’m just spending time online amusing myself. I am needed when I am needed. Otherwise, it is always interesting to see what usefulness is and that it is only gauged by others. I make my own decisions in this. I cannot make decisions for others. I cannot make decisions without having input. But, I make my own choices and I cannot account for the choices of others. You cannot make a wish and find what you wish for and then decide that it isn’t a fit for you. You can, but then what do you wish for? Will you wish for bigger, better, faster? When will you be enough? The gift doesn’t go away. The ability doesn’t go away. Love doesn’t go away. It comes in all sizes, shapes, colours and denominations.
The ultimate question is “who are you and why do I care?” Bender (Futurama). The ultimate answer is how much does it matter? It is easy to care; it is harder to care responsibly without using and abusing the privilege. The challenge is to know how to make that choice and when it is right for us. The challenge is to become who and what we are intended to be despite obstacles and despite ourselves. The last part is the one that is most difficult to overcome. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope it makes you think. Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures! Keep watching because we’re always working on something. Thank you!
The podcast that matches this blog post can be found on Anchor FM: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://aandjpeitreasures.wordpress.com/ and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Podcast are available on:
Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-... name a few
All my e-books can be found on:
Smashwords (my Affiliate link): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
You can also find us on:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EJS08026749
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5zp...
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/ej2466
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/e-j-s-151a...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndrewAandJP...
E. Jean Simpson
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A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA
A & J PEI Treasures is located on Prince Edward Island, Canada. We are a husband and wife team and our companion animals. There are a number of things that drew us to the Island…one of which was the n
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