Stuck at a Crossroads

I haven’t posted here in a minute, as a matter of fact I don’t think I even published my last Paramedic Robot short. I’ve been feeling very down as of late, wandering the wonderer’s wasteland. I miss making music, although I did pick up my guitar the last two days and put together an 8 bar progression that I like. That’s so irrelevant right now.

I work a job that has absolutely nothing to do with film or audio. I create a cartoon that has no direct connection to my ultimate filmmaking goals. I play a sport on Sunday’s that causes me a lot of painful memories – for 25 years it was my so-called purpose. My apartment lease ends in a month and I have no desire to renew, yet no direction where to go.

I am trying to approach my future in a practical, sensible manner. Part of me wants to leave everything I have and make a hard push toward a career in the film industry. My background as a blue collar worker puts me in direct contradiction to every belief and ideal the film industry so proudly propagandizes, however.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I hate worrying, I hate overthinking, and I hate wasting time. Unfortunately for the past 2 weeks that is all I’ve been able to do. I heard a quote a few days ago that stated “The only time people change is when the pain of not changing outweighs the fear of transformation.” I believe that’s true, as unfortunate as it may be.

Here’s the last paramedic robot short that has nothing to do with the rest of this post.