Goulash for Sunday 06/11/23

If you are making actual goulash rather than expecting my usual potpouri post and inadvertently chop off part of a finger, please fetch it out. Connoseurs will know the difference between a chunk of beef and your ring finger no matter how much Hungarian paprika you add.

If you have a dog, and especially if you chopped off part of your finger into the goulash, you may find this article from McSweeney’s helpful: REASONS YOUR DOG IS A BETTER HEALTH CARE PROVIDER THAN YOUR DOCTOR  “Your dog takes a highly individualized approach to your care. Instead of saying your Vitamin D is low and suggesting you get more sun, your dog takes you on three walks a day. If you have insomnia, they’ll lay on your stomach and stare into your soul until you fall asleep every night for the next fifteen years. If you’re anemic, they’ll murder a squirrel and leave it under your pillow. Would Dr. Moskowitz do that? Didn’t think so.”My doctor told me a few days ago that I may have a bleeding ulcer and requested a stool sample.  I’m planning to send him this IKEA Marius Stool-Black even though there will probably be some assembly required.  If I had a dog, he would probably would have told me to drink two glasses of Tallisker Storm and call him in the morning: “Released in early 2013, Talisker Storm has all the warm, smoky, peppery characteristics we all love in the standard Talisker 10yo – but they’ve been turned up a notch, with more smoke, more spices, and a bigger-than-ever flavour explosion.” A smart dog would know that.I think the authors of the novel The Observer would have ended up with a compelling novel if they hadn’t limited themselves to their science, or at least to the scientific theories. As it is, just how a patient with a brain-implanted device impacts and/or directly creates his/her reality in a new branching universe isn’t directly shown. We are told s/he does this, but aren’t really shown how it happens. This novel doesn’t work for me even though I believe the theories behind the science and the story. I disagree with Kirkus that said, “Mind-bending … A novel full of life-affirming ideas.”I have a question. Some years ago, men were bashed for seeking pictures of naked women, a “hobby” that was considered wrong for a dozen reasons. Now, women are creating those pictures (and walking around hardly wearing a stitch of clothing) and posting them online. Is this the new freedom or have they made objects of themselves just like those nasty men always wanted? E.g.: “At 54, Ricki Lake Bares It all in Nude Outdoor Bathtub Pic: ‘Self-Acceptance’”

—Malcolm