Hubris & Humility
Today is a bit of a landmark for me, as it represents the anniversary of my very first published piece of writing: “Uninvited House Guest” at the Ponder Review. (Incidentally, it is my only piece of creative non-fiction as well, but that’s a whole other story.)
Six years ago today, I had my first opportunity to hold in my hot little hands, my very own words in print. I can’t pretend that it didn’t feel pretty amazing. There’s a special kind of magic when something that started out as a collection of thoughts and feelings in your brain is turned something cohesive that you can touch and feel and share.
Reading the story today, I can see I’ve come a long way in six years. Some of the writing is pretty cringe, trite, cliché. But it was heartfelt and honest, and the best I knew at the time. It did set some unrealistic expectations though. This was the first story I ever submitted, and it was accepted on the first try. And suddenly, there I was, a puffed up baby writer thinking I was going to take on the world.
The next story I submitted, a little piece of drama/flash fiction, I quite boldly sent to The New Yorker with all the confidence of a “seasoned” author with one whole credit (at a non-paying, collegiate lit mag) to my name.
The hubris.
As you can expect, the world came crashing down in the form of a impersonally worded form rejection. I was crushed and didn’t submit anywhere another two years.
The journey continued. I learned that rejection is a huge part of publishing. I got better as a writer. I tempered my expectations. I made better submission decisions. I bear rejection better. Ext., etc., etc. To this day, I continue to learn, and treat each acceptance with humility and deep gratitude. However, I might not have kept with it, without that first taste of success. So, even though–compared to my current standards–the story isn’t that good, I’m still grateful.
I humbly present “Uninvited House Guest.” (p70)
Be gentle, but feel free to laugh with me as you read it. Everyone starts somewhere, and I truly believe remembering our roots reminds us both to be humble, and proud of how far we’ve come!
