While Driving Uptown Quite Early This Morning

GREY: [driving car; does terrifying maneuver on narrow residential street]

ME: [expresses terror]

GREY: Hey now, that was pretty awesome!

ME: No, what would've been awesome was if we were going slow enough for me to get a look at that yellow bird back there. [Looks up at two large birds circling in sky] There are a lot of cool birds in this neighborhood if we could just SLOW DOWN.

GREY: Ahh, those are pigeons.

ME: No, honey, I think they might be eagles!

GREY: [singing] Take it to the limit one more tiiiii-iiiiime ...

ME: You just don't get it. Avian life is cool. Because you know why?

GREY: Why?

ME: Because B-B-B-Bird, B-Bird's the word, B-B-B-B-B-Bird, B-Bird's the word ... [repeat times infinity]

GREY: Oh boy, I stuck my dick right in that one, didn't I?