Just Look At Yourself!
Photo by AuthorJust Look At Yourself!Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?Mostly in mirrors, I think. Perhaps the occasional window, pool, or other body of water. Mirrors are much clearer, though.
I don’t consider myself a photogenic person. I look in the mirror and I think, “Eh…good enough.” Then, I’ll take a selfie and look at it and scream, “AAAAHHH!!! Who is that disgusting alien?! Wait — is that me? That’s not me. It can’t be me. It’s me.”
There’s this filter you can get on your phone that makes you look 50 years older than you are now. It gives you wrinkles, droopy skin, bags under your eyes, and gray hair. My selfie is that result. The problem is, I don’t have that filter.
So, which version do others see in real life? The mirror me or the selfie me? I hope it’s whichever one looks better that day.
The other place I see myself is in my mind. When I picture myself in my head, I always look better than I do in reality. In a way, I guess this is a good thing. It means I’m looking at myself in a positive light.
I started wearing makeup a while back. I began with eyeliner because I’ve been told I have nice eyes and I wanted to accentuate that quality. Then, I got some foundation to even out my skin tone, etc. It’s all fairly subtle. I want it to look as if I’m not wearing makeup. You know, like all this “beauty” is natural.
You may think that I shouldn’t worry so much about my looks. You may be right. As many of us do, I have insecurities that are difficult to overcome. I’m not in a relationship, and you simply can’t repeat a first impression. Physical attraction isn’t the most important, but it’s the first type of attraction (unless you meet online without seeing each other) when you meet someone.
PrideFest is next month, so I’ve been doing crunches and pushups every day and going outside to tan. I bought a couple of the gayest shirts I could find and they won’t look good if I’m not in shape. Maybe I’ll post pictures — it depends. We’ll see if my phone’s “ugly filter” is turned on or not.
Okay, so my answer to this prompt may have been slightly facetious. It’s a difficult question to answer, though. Where I see myself depends on many factors — whether or not I’m involved in a serious relationship with someone, if I decide to change jobs, if I win the lottery… That last one is pretty unlikely because you pretty much have to play the lottery in order to win.
Where do I see myself in five years? I’ll choose to see myself happy, healthy, and in the arms of someone who loves me.
Copyright © 2023 Brandon Ellrich
*Originally published on Medium
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