Writing romance when your setting has no divorce
There is no divorce in the Philippines. Yes, marriages can be annulled, there are some alternatives which include legal separation, there are also situations where a divorce will be recognized, but in general, there is no divorce in the Philippines. (Also read: “Ending a Marriage in the Only Country That Bans Divorce“)
This is just one of the things that, growing up Filipino, I knew and built an entire life around and didn’t necessarily think about too much. Now that I am thinking about it, it absolutely does affect how I write romance and comment on the work of others, especially as founder of a community of romance writers.
How does it show up in my work?
1. I don’t consider a proposal or a wedding an essential part of the Happily Ever After. This doesn’t mean other Filipinos will accept this too or write their romance the same way; this culture still expects marriage despite not having divorce. But personally I use my stories to push back at a lot of things about this culture and this is one of those things.
2. A few of my main characters do end up married and now I’m thinking about why I chose them for that. Manolo (of Kimmy and Manolo in Love Your Frenemies) has generational wealth. Julie (of Julie and Anton in That Kind of Guy) is at heart a girl who values marriage and would want it. Again I didn’t have “there’s no divorce” in mind as I wrote about these marriages happening but here they are.
3. My stories and other RomanceClass stories have characters who are legally married to but separated from their partners. They’re all over our books as people of these circumstances are in our lives. In some cases like Kimmy and her mother’s financial situation in Love Your Frenemies, their lives are affected within the story but the text doesn’t explain how Kimmy’s parents being not-divorced is a factor. (I don’t think Filipino authors should worry about explaining in our books how we don’t have divorce, if we’re writing for Filipinos. We know!)
4. I am and have been that person who looks at story pitch with a forced or arranged marriage trope (with Filipino characters) and goes, “Really?” (skeptical) But it is common for Filipinos to write it, so common that I’m now ready with a list of questions to ask, if an author really wants to do this. There are many books and stories from local publishers and online spaces about forced marriages, some involving minors, some involving adults, where the circumstances qualify as financial abuse. I just think that if we recognize that situation is a problem, then divorce would have been one solution that would give our characters some agency. But we don’t actually have divorce as a solution, so what are we really doing when we frame that situation as a romance? An author ideally should be approaching this with care and intention.
Legalizing divorce is still a heated topic and I’m not sure if I’ll see it happen soon. Until we have better laws, this will probably explain why my books are mostly HEA without weddings and it’s still fine, their love is very real.
The post Writing romance when your setting has no divorce first appeared on Mina V. Esguerra.
