Hiding Information in Plain Sight

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In the overly generalized writing advice, this is not a topic much talked about anywhere, and certainly not in any detail.

Newer writers think that “hiding information” means omitting it entirely so the reader can’t see it. The most typical one I’ve encountered is in mysteries. The murderer is hidden from us by only appearing on the page a few times, almost in passing. We barely have any characterization to hang an anchor on his name. The result is a disappointing story. Not only do we not have any clues to his identity, but we’re also missing characterization that makes him the killer.

What’s different then?

This is from writer Kurt Steel, 1939, “So You’re Going to Write a Mystery.” Don’t let the date fool you. Reader and publisher preferences go out of date, but craft advice does not.

When you introduce information that you don’t want the reader to see right away, immediately follow it with something big and dramatic. And we’re not talking further down in the scene, but the next line.

It’s a form of magician’s sleight of hand. You’re giving the reader immediacy of plot happening while controlling when they process the clue.

So your protagonist picks up a pocket watch from the desk. It’s a fine-looking watch, and he’s about to open the cover… (This is the clue you want to hide.)

Bang! The door to the room slams open, making him jump back. He drops the pocket watch on the desk and backs up as three men with big guns burst in. (An immediate plot event that the protagonist must deal with now.)

Cycling helps with this because you may have to tighten up the space between the clue and the next event. Or you may have to nip some of the information about the watch to make sure it doesn’t stand out too much. It’s too easy to put too much in, but it shouldn’t be a big change. Maybe one sentence less, or even just a word.

S.S. Van Dine (same issue, “20 Rules for Writing Detective Fiction”) notes if the reader were to reread the story, they would see the clues they hadn’t noticed before.

This way of hiding information in plain sight is very subtle. The reader’s subconscious picks up on it, so it makes for a satisfying read.

Some other ways I think this could be used might include:

The antagonist mildly standing next to an over the top, abrasive celebrity, who rants at the protagonist. (This one’s mine, but I’m thinking I may have picked that up from reading all of J.D. Robb’s books).A list of things. This is one of the ways of concealing information that I’ve seen in modern times; Dean Wesley Smith references it in several of his workshops. We can only keep about three things in our head at one time, so with a list of four, we would lose the second or third item. You could also take Kurt Steel’s advice and add right near the item on the list something more exciting. Like a lost magical key is on the list of items, but the character discovers an antique collectable she’s been looking for absolutely forever.

Of course, to study these in context, read the entire book first so you’re familiar with it. If it’s a mystery, you want to know who the antagonist turns out to be so you can be on the lookout when you go through the book again.

A search also turned one article about hiding information with some intriguing possibilities. Happy reading!