HOW NOT TO WRITE CHRISTIAN FICTION

I keep trying to find good Christian fiction.

I really do. In recent weeks I read two historical novels, one a debut, and one by a bestselling author with many titles to her credit. Both shall remain nameless here. I will not, as I first intended, write book reviews for them for Amazon or GoodReads, because my purpose is not to bash them or belittle their efforts. Heaven knows how difficult it is to write a novel.   Instead, let’s learn from their weaknesses.

POINT OF VIEW

Readers count on getting into the head of the main character on the first page, so if your main character is Mae, and you’re telling the story from her point of view, don’t begin chapter one from Hal’s:

“The winter of ’92 is gonna go down as one to the worst we’ve ever seen.” Hal Murphy grumbled as he dumped the sack of flour on the store counter. . .He turned toward Mae Wilkey, the petite postmistress. . .

If you’re telling the story with a limited narrator from the point of view of Mae’s character, don’t suddenly go omniscient like the author does here:

She put a smile on every man’s face, but she wasn’t often aware of the flattering looks she received.

WORD CHOICE FOR THE TIME PERIOD

If the story is set in 1870’S, don’t use contemporary terminology and slang: She wouldn’t use the exclamation “Hot Dog!” The term wasn’t coined until the 1900’s. She wouldn’t “date” a man. Nor would she say “heads would roll.”

She wouldn’t call her brother a “teen,” or describe him as born with “special needs,” definitely a modern euphemism.

LOGIC/CONSISTENCY

If her brother is mentally challenged, don’t say he’s a “quick learner” and have him managing the kitchen/household for her while she’s gone. (And how did he learn to cook anyway, since she doesn’t know how and they live alone?)

Know about the topic you’re writing about. Dogs and cats don’t eat “mash” (ground grain). And one thousand pound (overgrown, old) sows don’t bring premium price at the market.

And it’s not likely two women could or would butcher one alone, at night, in North Dakota in mid-January, with a pack of hungry dogs watching politely, when the hog has been lying in the road dead all day. Nor would they be able to sink fence posts in the frozen ground to build a fence. I’m just saying.

WORD CHOICE FOR PRECISION

They might eat into them, but don’t say “ freight costs vs. profits.”

Don’t imply two things are happening simultaneously when that’s not even possible: “He emerged, turning to lock the door.”

“The houses were built so close you could spit on the neighborhood.” Really?

 “His right hand felt the tears in his coat.” This is creepy.

If you’re going to use a cliché, get it right: not “tingling in the pit of his gut” or “snow particles.” And how can everything in town be “shut tighter than a tick burrowed in?”

“She sighed and twirled [they’re dancing] like the fanciest-reared lady.” That’s a bit racy.

CHRISTIAN FICTION

Including a parody of a Hell-fire and brimstone preachers as your only reference to anything Christian doesn’t make this into a Christian novel. And by the way, such a preacher wouldn’t condone dancing either.

 

You might be thinking these snippets come from the debut author I mentioned. But you would be wrong. This author has scores of titles to her credit. To me, the worst thing about this low caliber writing is because it is labeled “Christian.” I’m with Franky Schaeffer, who says Christians should reclaim the arts, striving for excellence in order to bring honor and glory to God in all arenas of life.

Let’s keep on striving until readers stop putting our books down with a sneer. Can I hear an amen?