In Troubled Times: Bystander Intervention Training

In January 2018, I attended a seminar entitled Stand! Speak! Act! A Community BystanderIntervention Training. The subheading suggested I would learn how tononviolently support someone who was being harassed. The event was presented bythe local chapter of CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations), the MuslimSolidarity Group, and the local rapid response team. The idea of becoming anonviolent ally in directly ameliorating the harm from harassment greatly appealedto me. I found the seminar enlightening, although not always in ways Iexpected.
To begin with, although two of the event’s three sponsorswere specifically Muslim solidarity groups, the techniques and strategies applywhenever a person is being targeted. Although hate crimes against Muslims haveincreased drastically (first after 9/11 and then ongoing since Trump's election), racism (anti-black, anti-Hispanic, anti-Asian) still accountsfor the majority of incidents, and anti-LGBTQ violence continues. Most of myfriends and relatives who have been harassed have been targeted because of race,sexual orientation, or gender identification, but by far the greatest numberhave been because of race. The principles of intervention remain the same, andif in the future some other group becomes a target for extremism and violence,allies will step forward.
The workshop drew its guidance and inspiration from theprinciples set out by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous peopleNonviolence seeks to win friendship and understandingNonviolence seeks to defeat injustice, not peopleNonviolence holds that suffering can educate and transformNonviolence chooses love instead of hateNonviolence believes that the universe is on the side ofjustice.
It’s tempting to lash out when you or someone you observe isa target of violence, whether physical or verbal. We’ve all seen enoughsuperhero movies to want to jump in, swirling our capes, and single-handedly takeon the offender. Outrage at what we perceive to be hateful and wrong fuels ouradrenaline. It’s hard to remain calm, to think clearly, and to act fromprinciple instead of reactive emotion. That’s why practice is so important.Harassment can escalate very quickly, and unless we have some experience in howwe are vulnerable to engagement, we can become swept up in the confrontation.
Bystander interventionisn’t about confronting the person spewing hatred, it’s about supporting theperson being targeted.

The best way to do this is through de-escalation, but in away that respects the needs and wishes of the targeted person. This means,firstly, not engaging with the attacker: not making eye contact, not respondingto their words, not contributing to the drama. It can also meanincluding other witnesses; one person can video the incident (using theirphone, with or without the ACLU app that sends the video directly to them*) orcall appropriate help (ambulance, paramedics).
Intervention at its best empowers the person being harassed.(That’s why the workshop avoided referring to them as “victims.”) Theprinciples encourage us as bystanders to approach that person calmly, introduceourselves, and explain that we saw what was happening and we want to offer support.This can mean proposing courses of action like “Would you like me to sit withyou?” or “What can I do to help you?” or “Shall we walk together in the otherdirection?” Or it might mean striking up a friendly conversation that excludesthe attacker, like “The weather’s been lovely, hasn’t it?”
The targeted person may not want to interact with us or maysay they’re fine, and as difficult as it is, we should remember the goal issolidarity, not rescue.
In practicing various scenarios, I was amazed at my ownemotional reaction even though I knew itwas an exercise.  We split intogroups and acted out various situations (a woman in hijab being harassed on abus, a black person being insulted by someone driving by, a Spanish-speaking person being threatened in a language not understood). Tempers flared, and theperson playing the target often felt fearful. That happened to me when I wasportraying a Spanish-speaking person in a line at a store. Even though Iunderstood the English verbal attacks (based on perceived immigration status),I felt confused, frightened, and trapped. All I wanted was to escape. Theparticipants playing bystanders bunched together to make what felt like a wallof hostiles, even though they were supposed to be portraying allies. Then oneapproached me from the side, made sure I noticed her, and gently said, “Hola.” I was amazed at how my bodyrelaxed. I engaged with her, feeling I was safe, then asked her to help meleave the store. How much more terrifying must it be when it’s not a practicescenario!
The final caveat was that no one should feel obligated tointervene if they don’t feel it is safe to do so. Emotions can run high inharassment situations, and matters can escalate very quickly. Always trust yourinstincts. Even if you aren’t able to act at the moment, approaching thetargeted person with support and help after the danger has passed can do muchto minimize the harm.
As an addendum, not long after I took the seminar, I had an opportunity to practice the techniques in real life. At a women's march, I noticed that a young woman with a baby in a stroller was being harassed, quite loudly, by a much larger man. I placed myself between them, my back to him, and began talking to her in a friendly manner. I babbled about the weather and how cute her baby was, adding in the same light voice, "Would you like help getting out of here?" Her entire demeanor went from panic to relief. By the time I'd finished my question, the loud, angry man had melted back into the crowd and I didn't hear his voice again.

*The ACLU’sMobile Justice app is available in California and other states.