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After hooking up, we laid on my bed together, chatting and sharing a j. He told me about his upcoming plans to visit family in a distant country, where the women are known to be particularly beautiful. He had been relaxed and speaking with some excitement, but as he said this, he abruptly cut himself off: forgetting himself, he had talked to me as a straight man talks to another straight man. This put us at risk of doing something homosocial, which put our very recent past at risk of being something homosexual. 

That cis men of all orientations lie to themselves in order to have sex with me is nothing new. I used to think I could predict the nature of these lies based on the liar telling them: some straight men think of me as a girl, some gay men think of me as a boy, and some bi men think of me as the best of both worlds, as they’re inclined to put it. What I’ve learned since going on hormones is that not only are these lies unpredictable, they’re often not even internally consistent. 

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