Better Than Real Life

‘Everyone faces pain of separation...no one is spared.’--Susan Cain, BITTERSWEET 

I dedicate this blog to three people I mention in this blog who are no longer with us. I knew two of them; the other is known only from an article she wrote (Marlene Adler Marks): 

Carol Phillips Braha b. May 20, 1946, d. August 21, 1997 (age 51) 

Marlene Adler Marks b. 1948, d. September 5, 2002 (age 54) 

Herbert S Braha b. September 18, 1946, d. February 6, 2016 (age 69) 

Mid-May must be the time when people like to write letters/cards. Is it that Springtime feeling in the air that allows one to pick up a pen? The following people all wrote to me on the same date: May 14th, 1997 (Barbara Reynolds—twice with a postcard and an early Birthday card; Reed Campbell, Edna Maestas, Edward Espinosa):

May 14, 1997 

Dear Mike, 

Two days in Marin...stayed at Pt. Reyes Youth Hostel. Wednesday evening, I got to visit this village yesterday afternoon (KULE LOKLO). Perfect weather, lots of wildflowers, having a good visit with David and a lot different seeing him here at home, rather than those foreign lands. Great having vacation from work. 

One thing you “must do” next trip here is the BEACH CHALET at S.F Ocean Beach, near the Windmills. The space is lovely with restored frescos and historic displays and info. Upstairs is a bar that has brewed ale and there is also a good cooking café and, of course, a great view of S.F. Beach. The guy in-charge of the Museaum portion is Huey Thomas. He retired four years ago from Pac Bell. He is friends (plays tennis with) Jon Miyasake (small world). It opened on December 29, 1996.  

Hope you are great and happy. Write again. 

Love,  

Barbara 

 

May 14, 1997 

Hi Michael,

Just a card and note from Washington DC and after visiting my sister and family here for a few days. Damned tired of the snow, ice and rain of winter. Don’t care to shovel more snow again! Spring may come, I hope.  

Hope to make San Francisco and San Diego late summer but not much travel planned for now. It depends on the website and special rates/fares. Drop a line on how you are. 

Best Always, 

Reed 

 May 14, 1997 

Dear Michael, 

I received your letter today, Saturday. April whizzed by. I decided to answer your letter right now or it may take me another few weeks. I believe you will be visiting Santa Fe around the time our church has their annual camp meeting, but I will arrange my schedule so that I can meet you and your family. I’m looking forward to it. The El Dorado Hotel is one of—if not the—finest hotels in Santa Fe. When Mike and I find extra time or the opportunity we go there to listen to Reuben Romero and Antonio Mendosa sing and play guitar. Both are renown guitarists. My husband also enjoys playing guitar.  

I’m afraid this summer is going to fly by. We are invited to several parties, graduations, weddings, etc. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and we will get up early and meet my mother for breakfast. My mother is a very beautiful person and I’m close to her. I love both my parents very much. My dad is a real loner and lives by himself. He battles alcoholism and lately has had a few relapses. 

What are your favorite foods? If you feel like eating a nice home cooked New Mexican meal I will gladly invite you over. Of course, New Mexican to us means Mexican food like red or green Chile, enchiladas, beans, Spanish rice, tortillas or sopapillas, etc.  

My Uncle Augustin’s granddaughter is getting married on May 31st in Las Vegas, NM. We’re planning on attending the wedding and visit my dad on his Birthday, too. We’re supposed to put our house up for sale this summer so that we can make our move to Ledoux. At this time, we seem to be coasting with our plans. Good thing we are not in a hurry. Rickie, our grandson (more like a son) will be starting school in one more year and that might be a better time for him to adjust. For now, we’ve settled with a few additions to our family, a male kitty named Morice. We thought he was a she and we named her Marie after a kitty in the movie, ARISTOCATS. We then took her in to get spayed and when they made the incision, they discovered that Marie was a Marty. My daughter, Teresa, is expecting, too. And once again, I will be a grandmother! 

My computer seems to be static-ing out, so once again, I will close, and I hope to hear from you soon. 

With Love, 

Edna 

May 14, 1997 

Dear Mike, 

Have a %*@#!!!-kicking good time on your Birthday! This time of year, again and knowing you, Mike, I am sure that you have some wonderful plan on how to observe your Birthday (3?). Ha-ha. 

Me? Well, I just wish I had a couple of months' vacation about now. I just need to spend my time a little differently, I guess. I saw CITIZEN RUTH last night finally. And I saw TRAVELLERS last weekend.  

Our yard looks good. We plan on painting the wood part of this building this year, so I don’t want to be attached to the idea of a surviving garden. Yes, it’s attachment, too, too much. Just wondering about the future too much.  

I have no computer at home, yet. We do have a net at work now but internal only, so lots of information which is great. Are Tony and Helen still working for Pac Bell? 

I have a temporary roommate now, Andrea, a coworker. She has been accepted to UCLA and will leave 23 May. She will be a coworker until then. I had a bad housing situation with a cousin, so this has been a good opportunity for me that past couple of weeks to see what it’s like to have a roomie in this space. And it’s totally different from the time David was here in March. So, the verdict is no long-term roomies unless I’m IN LOVE. So, we shall see. 

Hmmm...I just read something so I will quote it now: “LOVE is not consolation, it is light.” --Simone Weil, French philosopher 

I’m still getting to meetings and trying new things. I’ll let you know when I get an email address. 

How is Marina Del Rey these days?  

Happy BD and OH...Joan Lyons finally got a permanent promotion to Manager. She’s training and will go to Southern California. She finished her undergraduate degree, graduated last week, so I’ll miss her but I’m very happy for her. Later. 

Love, 

Barbara 

 

May 14, 1997 

Dear Michael, 

'Keep Your Sunny-Side Up'

Mother’s Day will be brutal as always (at the florist) but I have finally learned to delegate. It took me fifteen years, so I don’t get as flustered as I used to. The usual delivery problems and complaints will happen, but Margaret has productions down to a science and her whole crew will do a magnificent job. We will deliver about 400 packages. 

Your plans for July are extensive, so I’m going to give you a breather. I’ve rescheduled my vacation plans to August. Actually, the main reason is that Dean (Margaret’s son) has relocated to your turf. He’s relocated to INTEL in Santa Clara and John and Margaret want to travel there in mid-July to help set up the household. It’s the only time John can get away and both Margaret and I can’t be gone at the same time.  

As for our get-together on July 24th I’ve decided to host a backyard Bar-B-Q at my home. Margaret will help. 

I don’t know if you're’ planning to return to Santa Fe that night, which is probably not a good idea, so I’d be delighted if you spent the night, I have a guest bedroom. Your mother could spend that night at Mabel’s. She’s got 3 or 4 guest rooms. If you want to talk about the details call me at the shop anytime during the day or at home in the evening. 800-437-8182. 

Edward 

 

Herb Braha, Alan’s longtime friend sent me a cool INDONESIAN card in honor of my upcoming Birthday where he simply wrote: 

Michael, Have a good Laugh today. Herb 

Photo: Herbert S Braha

He included a story from the JEWISH JOURNAL, written by Marlene Adler Marks, the editor at large of the Jewish Journal. The title of the story was TEN YEARS where she stumbled on a man she recognized as her husband, but he had been dead for 10 years. His doppelganger perhaps? Well, it was a cute story, but the part Herb circled was this part that provided a good laugh: 

In all these years, I have met many men and women who have suffered loss. We never think we do it right. We should have remarried earlier, or later, or not at all. We should have kept the house, or sold the house, or taken in a tenant. We become control freaks over the small things—missing papers, unreturned phone calls—because we have no power over the large. 

But what we never say is that death has great appeal. We study it and study ourselves, wearing it down like softened leather. Soon enough, memory serves us well. Better than real life. 

Real life gets messy; memory stands still. Real life is strange and frightening; memory consoles—even its pain is familiar. --Marlene Adler Marks 

Photo: Marlene Adler Marks

May 20, 1997 

Dear Michael, 

Happy Birthday! I hope you get this in time.  

Vancouver Island is a stunning place. You’d really enjoy Victoria. Todau, Ryan and I are in Tofino. We are on the west side of the isle. Soon, we’ll leave for Vancouver, B.C. Lots of hiking, kayaking and eating. Tofino is a very small town, quaint and relaxing. Til later, 

Love, Carol and Ryan 

I also received a beautiful wedding invitation from my Carol’s sister, Liz Lucero (also my cousin). She (Elizabeth Anne Lucero) and Leonard Fredrick Muise, Jr. Plan to wed on the 4th of July at the Palmdale Estates in Fremont, CA at 11AM.  

‘I don’t like quoting people. It can be quite a ticklish job; you tend to take things out of context and risk getting into all sorts of scrapes.’--Voltaire, in his ALL IS GOOD section of Voltaire, A Pocket Philosophical Dictionary