A Bit of a Bummer...

I spent all my teenage life with a chest as flat as apancake.  Which didn’t bother me too muchuntil, like my peers, we developed an interest in boys.  My girlfriends would merely raid their dad’ssock drawer and swagger off to the local disco sporting a pair of DollyPartons.  But I didn’t have the gung-hoto do that.  Which meant they quicklypartnered up for a dance while I stood on the outskirts watching.  Alone. 
These days that is no longer the case.  By that I don’t mean I lurk on the edge ofdance floors.  I mean that I no longerhave a flat chest.  And very recently Ihave been reminded how bits of our body can either make us either see the funnyside, or actually be very upset.  Forexample, the exterior of our house is currently being painted.  I am faintly amused by the decorator ringingthe doorbell and addressing my chest.  Idoubt he knows what my face looks like. But if you ask him what sweater I’m wearing, he’ll give you an A1witness description.  However, for othersthe attention is hard to cope with.  Andthey can perceive themselves as fat. 
The misconceptions people have about their bodies is quitestaggering.  I don’t watch television andhaven’t for years.  I’m not au fait with Boot Camps for Big Girls, or Britain’s Next Anorexic Model or I’m An Attention Seeker Do Not Evict Me,but these programmes are watched by millions. And a high percentage of the viewing audience are very impressionable. 
Take my daughter.  When werecently attended The National TV Awards and I was oohing and aahing about variouscelebrities, who did my daughter rush off to talk to?  Some 30 year old woman with the body of achild, fake breasts, fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake tan, a nosejob and a cosmetically over-filled lip to the point where – in profile – therewasn’t so much a trout pout as a morphing into Donald Duck.  ‘Oh my God,’ breathed my daughter, ‘she’s sobeautiful.’  Are you kidding?  Seriously? 
Tell today’s young adults that you think a young and voluptuousSophia Loren is fab and they will squeal with horror and declare if theirbackside were that big they’d be auditioning for the next Lipo Or Live With It programme. And THAT is what hacks me off. That TV, films, magazines, you name it, are full of ideals andinfluences that are bang out of order. 
So, bottom line is: BRING BACK THE BOTTOM!