I Went to an Author Q and A. And it Changed my Life.
Basically.
But I’ve written about Andrew McCarthy before. Like last summer, when I devoured his memoir.
And here I go again. Writing about Andrew McCarthy. It was his author event that changed my life. Or, at the very least, part of my perspective on life.
His newest work, Walking With Sam, is an account of him and his oldest son walking the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile pilgrimage from the south of France to a cathedral in Spain. In the conversation before the question-and-answer portion of the evening’s event, he talked about his relationship with his son and how he was constantly comparing it to his relationship with his father. He talked about fear and vulnerability, and how those emotions unjustly get a bad rap, especially vulnerability.
According to McCarthy, vulnerability makes space, and that space can be filled by all sorts of opportunities and emotions and connections. Traveling taught him that; to be in a new, unfamiliar place–especially when you don’t know the language–boosts you from you comfort zone. And so you have to be vulnerable and ask for help, and that allows space for someone else to help you and establishes a connection. And as McCarthy rightly points out, isn’t that the point? Isn’t that we’re all looking for?
I wonder if that’s an inevitable theme of travel writing. McCarthy’s first book, The Longest Way Home, was an intimate telling of him traveling all over before his second marriage. I remember being surprised and impressed by how he allowed himself to be vulnerable in the narrative. He didn’t hold back and he didn’t suppress or edit anything to bolster his movie star image.
Watching the conversation on the stage of the Algonquin Arts Theater, my lips kept getting stuck on my teeth because my mouth was open the whole time because I couldn’t stop smiling. He was as charming and thoughtful and intelligent as ever.
I didn’t know he was willing to take selfies. I was underprepared. The last time we met, the first time, I was charming and clever. I got to say something because he signed my book and asked my name. This time, we just filed in, snapped a picture, and walked out. I was nervous. I was awkward. I felt like I blew it.
Which is silly.
Andrew McCarthy holding court in front of over 200 women (and a handful of guys) at the Algonquin Arts Theatre in Manasquan.
My colleague and friend AND talented writer who has a novel being published soon–Jill Ocone–secured the tickets for us. We were SO excited.
I LOVE ANDREW McCARTHY.
Look at him patiently waiting for me to unlock my phone like the fumbling idiot I was.
So How Did This Change My Life?Andrew McCarthy talked about making space for other emotions, like joy. He stressed the importance of finding joy and being aware of its presence in life. Today, I received two rejections from literary agents, and one was from the agent who had requested a full manuscript. I wanted to despair. I wanted to order food and sulk on the couch.
But I can query more agents. And what a joy it is to be able to create something worth sharing. McCarthy talked about that, too; how it was such a blessing for him to have lived a life with creativity at its center. I can keep writing. I can keep trying.
He said a good morning was sitting down and getting the writing done. I need to do more of that because I know that brings me joy. I don’t have to focus on the rejection and the bitter disappointment. I can change my perspective.
Thank you, Andrew McCarthy.
McCarthy said he was most like his character in “St. Elmo’s Fire.” SWOON.The post I Went to an Author Q and A. And it Changed my Life. appeared first on mandi bean: writer.
