Visiting Scallionland

 Some family members brought me this package of Taiwanese spice used for some of my favorite restaurant dishes. I couldn't stop reading the directions over and over. I swear the person who translated the directions is a cooped-up poet in a spice factory.


Here are some choice excerpts, directly from the package. The punctuation usage is also unadulterated genius.

Spice for Spiced Food
Made of noble and natural cinnamon. fennel. clove.
For spicing chicken and duch wings roe. peanut. pettitoes.
Apply this spice powder to a mixture of condiment such as salt. sauce. flavor. essence. brandy. scallionland.
A suitable part of boiled water la to be aded. The spiced food if in dark brown indicates that  it is well spiced.
I absolutely adore this translation. Duch wings? I'd love some of that. I'd feel rather royal, even with my greasy fingers.

Petittoes must be the footed version of fingerling potatoes. Or maybe they're just little toes. Tasty.

Where can I buy a bottle of essence condiment? I wants it.

And finally I'd love to visit Scallionland too, so long as it doesn't leave too much lingering onion breath.