Is Grief Misinformation a Thing?
Is grief misinformation a thing?
Yes. Yes, indeed.
Most of us have bought into quite a few myths about grief and the grief journey.
Somewhere down the line, we developed some ideas about how the grief process goes – or should go. Once we experienced a major loss, however, we began to discover we were wrong about a lot of things.
I’ll be honest. I don’t like the word myth when it comes to grief. Perhaps because in my mind the word myth is too, well, nice.
For example, one basic definition for myth in this context is a popular belief that is false.
Obviously, just because something is widespread or popular doesn’t mean that it’s true. A myth is false. Misinformation. Or, as one friend of mine (Kathy, from the As I Live and Grieve podcast) said, “Myth-information.”
It could just be me, but I sometimes I think we should call things what they are. A popular belief that is false is a lie.
There are lies about grief we tend to believe.
Lies are not neutral. Lies are harmful. In the grief process, they can be devastating.
Lies can derail us, cause unnecessary distress, add significantly to our pain, throw us into a deep pit and slam the top down over us.
Lies can distract us from healthy grieving. They can be a terrible, destructive influence on our hearts, minds, and bodies.
That’s why I’ll be talking about lies all this month. Last month we focused on anxiety and how to handle it. This month, we’ll be focusing on becoming aware of some of the lies about grief we believe and what to do about them.
We began with a Zoom Virtual Hangout Session this week, where I talked about The Lies We Believe. Registrations for this session set a new record for our Zooms. Apparently, this subject resonates with a lot of us (or we’re at least curious).
I would like to share an article with you that I wrote a while back on this issue: 10 Myths About Grief Most of Us Believe (I wanted to use Lies, but the editors preferred Myths – Arg!).
Please take a look at this article. Read it slowly. If you’re pressed for time, at least notice the 10 brief statements in bold.
As you read through those 10 myths (lies), which ones stood out to you? In other words, which grief lies have you had a tendency to believe?
You’re not alone. Everyone I’ve ever talked with about grief has bought into at least some of these.
How do we battle grief lies?
First, we have to be aware of the lies themselves.
Second, we have to ask ourselves, “If that’s a lie, then what’s the truth?”
Third, we have to begin to replace those lies with the truth.
How we do that?
More on that next time.
Loss is so painful. Grief is super-challenging. Please be patient with yourself.
Question: What myth (lie!) about grief do you tend to struggle with? Feel free to comment and share.
My eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow. – Job 17:7
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