Approaching Fiction Like a Scientist

(Or an 8-Year-Old) “Are they from a cloud factory?” That’s an actual question one of my kids asked when they were little.

Have you ever listened to an eight-year-old ponder the clouds? Her questions are dreamy, imaginative, big.

Could I pull them apart?

Are they made of God’s breath?

What if we froze one?

Do different types of clouds appear during different seasons?

Can we make them different colors?

Fresh, innocent, curious, boundless questions filled with wonder, joy, and the awe of simply being alive and able to witness a common phenomenon of nature that is available to literally every single person on Earth.

These are also the questions a scientist would pose. A good one at any rate.

One of my little scientists observing a tortoise shell

I believe all of us start out as scientists. The challenge is in staying that way. In being able to approach our work, our marriages, our child-rearing and friendships, the way we do business with the world with an open mind that helps us discover the distinct in the familiar and find common ground where there was seemingly none.

As we get older, this takes practice. I’d love to be able to say that a childlike reverence for the everyday comes naturally to me – I’m sure we all would – but it doesn’t. In my own life, I have to conjure my inner child, my essential scientist every day as I gaze upon a blank page. The way I did when I started this missive, having no idea what I was going to write.

It’s that expectation, the very necessity to say something, anything, make an observation, even when we don’t particularly have any inclination to, that is a powerful engine.

It prompts us not only to create but recreate and perfect. Make sure that what we’re doing is on-the-nose.

Our kids’ home playroom laboratory.

And that’s what I’m doing today; what I do with you all every time we convene, in some way or another.

This week, it’s not actually about something new I’m writing, although I am in the process of writing something brand-spanking-new. A return to my first love, my first true endeavor at novel-writing: the historical spy thriller.

If that’s what you’re here for, you’ll hear plenty about that in future missives, I promise.

What I’m fixating on today is something that’s been bugging me for some time. It’s the blurb for my first BREATH novel, and it’s never quite sat right with me.

I don’t know why. It’s a fine blurb, as far as blurbs go, I guess. There’s just something about it that I feel isn’t my best work and that has stuck in my craw.

That’s why, my fellow scientists, I’d like your input. If I may, I’d like to take of your fresh, original minds and see what you think of my rebooted efforts to find the perfect, most compelling summary for the first novel in my epic Historical Fantasy series. One of these is the original blurb, but I’m not going to tell you which one (and I hope you won’t cheat and have a peak on Amazon – at least until you make your decision). With that out of the way, the basic question I have for you is: Which of these blurbs would most inspire you to read this novel?

Burb No. 1

In the lost Kingdom of Rah’a, death spreads like a wildfire, consuming everything and everyone in its path. Sherin, immune to this fatal contagion, is forced to run for her life into the unforgiving desert. As she struggles to survive alone, she attracts the attention of two powerful men: Nif, a nomadic warrior who leads a tribe of rebels hated by the sultan, and Roon, a loyal soldier to the kingdom.

As they fight for their survival against the cannibalism, torture, thievery, and war that blight their region, they begin to uncover their own extraordinary destiny. One that will propel them through time itself – from their ancient civilization to the modern day – as they struggle to save humanity from destruction, and each other from the forces of darkness.

Blurb No. 2

Have you ever felt a strange reverberation inside of you, like something calling out from the depths of time?

Sherin, an orphaned young woman living in the ancient Kingdom of Rah’a, is immune to a devastating contagion that has been ravaging her region. With no family or friends left to protect her, she is cast out into the desert on her own.

In this arid landscape of darkness and death, she encounters two men: Nif, a rebel leading a nomadic tribe and Roon, a warrior fighting for the crumbling sultanry. Their paths cross during a period of turmoil bordering on anarchy. Cannibalism, torture and war are rife throughout the land and alliances change faster than the sand shifting beneath their feet.

But as their story unfolds, something even more ominous lurks. A secret lies buried deep within their souls—an ancient knowledge which will propel them through time and space, from one end of history to the other, granting them an extraordinary destiny that may just be able to save humanity from its own destruction…or ensnare them in the very forces of darkness that threaten everything they hold dear.

Blurb No. 3

Ever felt like you’ve lived before?

In the ancient past, in the now lost Kingdom of Rah’a, a young woman named Sherin finds herself in mortal peril after her family succumbs to a deadly contagion to which she is immune. Alone and afraid, she is cast out into the desert in search of a safe haven. But the plague continues to ravage her region, forcing survivors to band together. Some form haphazard tribes, others violent gangs. Through her wits and courage, Sherin captures the attention of two very different men: Nif, a desert warrior who leads a nomadic tribe, and Roon, a powerful soldier for the crumbling sultanry. As cannibalism, torture, thievery and war blight the region, alliances shift and terror reigns. Despite all of this, Sherin finds herself falling deeply in love with one of her suitors, sensing a mystical energy between herself and the man to whom she is so passionately devoting herself. The forces of destruction enveloping them, an extraordinary destiny begins to unfold before the lovers. It will propel them through history, from the earliest of civilizations to the present day, where they must struggle to save humanity from the same fate that befell their ancient civilization, or risk losing one another forever.

And by the way,  “Breath” is on sale for $2.99  right now – but not for long.