Lorelie Myth
This post is about parenting and for Gilmore Girls fans (Spoilers alert).
Was Lorelie a perfect parent?
Ever since I watched Gilmore Girls, I have encountered many teenagers online and in real life who wish their parents were like Lorelie.
And it's understandable as she is young, cool and treats her daughter like a friend, not a kid. She even eats burgers and fries for a meal regularly. She is independent and hard-working and expects the same from her daughter.
Agreed she could have been a role model for mothers like me, but what disturbed me most was how she reacted when Rory wanted to quit college because she found it challenging. I know giving up is not a good option, one should persist, but it's easier said than done. And persistence should come from within the doer, not the parent. The parent's job is to show the kids the right way and let them decide. Not to threaten them into doing what they want. And if they don't, should you abandon them? Stop talking to them? Evict them out of their lives? Is it even possible to ever end a relationship between a parent and a child? And a parent doing that just because their child is not acting like the perfect version of themselves created in their mind is selfish and apathetic. They are supposed to chase their own dreams not their parents’.
Think about it; everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. But in the real world, people are loved for their looks, talent, ability to succeed, give and provide, sense of humour, amiability, and for just being silent. Shouldn't there be at least two people throughout their lives who would love you no matter what?
I know It's an idealistic view and is possible only in a perfect world. That's why punishing kids by estrangement is so common in this world.
Parenting is a job taken far too seriously than it ought to be. Parents feel they must do something every time their child does something unacceptable. But I have learned that only when you give them control of their lives will they make better choices, or else they know who to blame when anything they do backfires.
True that a twenty-year-old deciding to quit college is a matter of concern for parents, but not talking to them and abandoning them when they need you the most can never be the right decision in any situation.
They'll come around, just as Rory did. Just give them time and your unconditional love.
Was Lorelie a perfect parent?
Ever since I watched Gilmore Girls, I have encountered many teenagers online and in real life who wish their parents were like Lorelie.
And it's understandable as she is young, cool and treats her daughter like a friend, not a kid. She even eats burgers and fries for a meal regularly. She is independent and hard-working and expects the same from her daughter.
Agreed she could have been a role model for mothers like me, but what disturbed me most was how she reacted when Rory wanted to quit college because she found it challenging. I know giving up is not a good option, one should persist, but it's easier said than done. And persistence should come from within the doer, not the parent. The parent's job is to show the kids the right way and let them decide. Not to threaten them into doing what they want. And if they don't, should you abandon them? Stop talking to them? Evict them out of their lives? Is it even possible to ever end a relationship between a parent and a child? And a parent doing that just because their child is not acting like the perfect version of themselves created in their mind is selfish and apathetic. They are supposed to chase their own dreams not their parents’.
Think about it; everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. But in the real world, people are loved for their looks, talent, ability to succeed, give and provide, sense of humour, amiability, and for just being silent. Shouldn't there be at least two people throughout their lives who would love you no matter what?
I know It's an idealistic view and is possible only in a perfect world. That's why punishing kids by estrangement is so common in this world.
Parenting is a job taken far too seriously than it ought to be. Parents feel they must do something every time their child does something unacceptable. But I have learned that only when you give them control of their lives will they make better choices, or else they know who to blame when anything they do backfires.
True that a twenty-year-old deciding to quit college is a matter of concern for parents, but not talking to them and abandoning them when they need you the most can never be the right decision in any situation.
They'll come around, just as Rory did. Just give them time and your unconditional love.
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