Fear your feelings

     

“ I have loved you everyday and I have sought you in my heart every minute. Though I know you have not nearly done the same. I will think of you like Van Gone.”             Forever N

Father. If you can hear me, a little whisper I throw in the universe, I hope you have mercy on my broken point of a pen.

I never wrote before because I was sad, angered and even mad as a man I had not met. His name however makes me feel like I could be related to him.

He’s into hats the queer ones and his colorful exist i say, I adore. He’s often mad and eccentric as
my mother
said your heart was, she said,“Your father is a man of noble things yet he’s stupid, coward and a crook, yes he’s like a mad hattterrrr.”

Father, let’s talk chop.

I know your life is fleeting and lady time wants to throw you out like garbage, expensive garbage actually, I am your forever and I am so sorry your parents never loved you.

Well the trouble with adults is that they carry all their hurt in a toy chest, till they have their own children to pass that chest to.
I don’t want yours, I want

nothing from you. I just want this letter to reach you. I want to tell you that I’m not mad 99.9 percent of the times, but that one percent can ruin the 99.9 percent good that I believe you are. Mother said I was deli- riots.I bet she’s wrong. She’s 89.9 percent wrong about you.

The thing is, I try to loathe you, hate you, erase you,

I even tried to forget you and that’s impossible.

It is because I feel like my feet belongs to you, and my hands look like yours, my nose even, my eyes I look into the mirror and I see you.

Though I have been told 99,9 percent of the time, you never loved me and I well,

I was your error. If I was I’ll pray for you, because you are clearly a man that cannot be saved. I’m soory for that because I do believe that somewhere in your cold tainted ruined heart-I believe you are a good man. Henceforth, I am mad like a hatter.

I swear to the next world,
you I still love.

I hope someone, anyone saves you. Because I, I love you. Forever. And I never lie. Ever.

      

          For my sailor,            Forever never

 

    Wild child : Enya