Closing the Door on Open Marriage

I’m watching 20/20 this weekend and they’re featuring a special edition, The New Sex, which discusses sex in our society, topics that include male gigolos, the bestselling book, 50 Shades of Grey, and celebrity sex.

I always find these shows interesting because they tap into one of the most powerful elements of relationships…sex. And, if you know me, I’m not one to cast sexual judgment on a couple. As long as both parties agree and what they do isn’t hurting anyone else, I say, “To each their own.”

But, there was one segment, that did get a reaction out of me. It was the one about open marriages with children. Again, I don’t have a moral issue with open marriages. They are not for me (when I was dating, I couldn’t even handle dating more than one woman at a time…not that great at juggling), but if they work for others, more power. The issue that I had was a comment during the piece, where it was stated something along the lines, that open marriages are needed because sometimes we have cravings. So, why not satiate them?

Here’s the skinny. We all have cravings, but that doesn’t mean we should cave in and take what we want solely because we want it. That’s called gluttony. We need to have some sense of restraint in parts of our lives. Look, if having an open marriage makes your relationship stronger, makes you and your partner happier and more productive people, by all means, dive right in head first. But, if you two are stepping outside of your relationship because you feel you deserve to have whatever you want in life, not only are you not making choices based on your relationship, but you are spoiled!

Do you buy the dress just because it’s pretty? Do you eat four desserts just because you want them? Do you take from the tip jar, because you’d like more money? That’s what this argument is all about, taking what you want because you want it.

Good relationships require sacrifice. So, no, I don’t have a problem with what couples do in their bedroom or if they bring in other people, if that is an asset to the relationship. I do have a problem with spoiled brats who feel it’s their right to have sex with someone outside of their relationship just because they’re hot for them. Why does it get me steamed? It’s not because it ruins the sanctity of marriage, because it doesn’t for some. It’s because these people are weak and feel they deserve whatever they want in life, and a think a little sacrifice goes a long way.