I want to share you with a perspective that I wish someone would share with me every time I’m stuck in the middle of a draft (be it the 1st or 10th) and it isn’t working or the whole dang thing is feeling endless or pointless or wasted.
It’s a perspective I think I’ve always kind of felt but didn’t really see clearly until recently when I was sorting through old beat sheets for my novel, Amelia Gray is Almost Okay. And there were a lot of beat sheets. That’s because this book went through a lot of drafts.
I’m not going to lie. The writing and revising process for that particular book was a beast. The story changed so many times. I revised the heck out of it. Characters came and went. Plot points moved around like a game of musical chairs. Some drafts were never even finished and thrown out completely. And there were so many times when I felt like I was spinning my wheels and (shudder*)* WASTING TIME.
But as I looked back through all the notes and brainstorms from my process, I discovered something surprising. Enlightening, even! When I laid out all the variations of the beat sheets and analyzed what changed in each one, I saw something I’ve never seen before in my own work. At least, not this clearly.
I saw the evolution of my story.
The creative process in action.
My ideas were growing right before my eyes but I was so lost in the nitty gritty details and the desperation to make it all work, I couldn’t even see it. You could say, I was so shrouded in my own Dark Night of the Soul, I couldn’t see the transformation my ideas were undergoing.
I thought I was wasting time, wasting drafts, but really what I was doing was planting seeds. And with each and every draft, those seeds had time and space to grow and blossom into what eventually became the final draft.
One “failed” idea for the Bad Guys Close In ended up being the inspiration for an entirely new character backstory.
One “underutilized” character in a “wasted” draft ended up spawning one of my favorite scenes of the novel.
One “problem” that I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out how to solve, ended up being solved (seemingly by magic!) because I had two many characters in a previous draft and had to combine them.
I was shocked to see the connections that I never made while I was in the throes of writing and revising. But that’s one of the things I’ve discovered that I love about teaching writing. It forces me to look at my own process, dissect it, analyze it, study it under a microscope and discover things that make me even more in awe of the creative process.
It truly is a process.
And expecting it to be anything else only cheats us out of the magic.
So, if you’re in the throes of one of those types of drafts, or even just having one of those types of days, I hope I can provide you some comfort when I say…
There’s no such thing as a wasted draft.
Or even a wasted chapter, page, or word.
There’s so such thing as a failed idea, or character, or plot point.
Trust that what you’re doing is paving the way for something else, planting seeds for something beautiful. Trust that your muse has a grand plan for it all, you just can’t see it yet. And then, trust that when it does come together, you’ll feel like you knew it all along.
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Thank you for your words today. I love my "STC! Writes a novel."
Just checked my email. Oh Goodreads. Haven't seen this site in a while. Oh, You today written to exactly how I feel right now. At 3:03pm Sydney time!
I am lying in bed, laptop with the third lot of washi tape, over my 7th cord in place for my headphones, washi tape holding the screen together on a, bamboo rest, two knitted teddies near my ears, exhausted mentally and physically.
Luckily Patrick finds breakfast for me, and pink tea. Strawberry, Raspberry and Loganberry smells different to it tastes. Thankfully Patrick also brings lunch here too.
Dinner in bed isn't as common, but sometimes it is a bed day, more often than I would like. Okay, you got me. I really am in bed quite often, particularly after a day out once a week.
So, okay rainy day means to read again right?
I have been printing my novel in pieces. Sending it to a word processor. I listen to parts of it in Scrivener. I am very tired from the false deadliness. Deadlines!
(Wow I just changed a word meaning by adding an s to the end in a typing error. How cool is that! )
Anyway, I digress my printer full of creamy sand coloured paper blue in the other cassette, my studio is only one room away. Perhaps I can print from the laptop here, from bed, if I connected the WIFI or driver.
I have been wanting to print my "Zero to one; the Puzzle draft" for months, giving myself deadlines, life happens, and stuff falls behind. December by the last day. Okay January. End of February, really over it. March 23rd the start of Autumn equinox. Write at the cafe! I don't have to remind myself that we are chatting now in April.
Okay end of April.
Very little printing ink! No car (getting fixed takes more than 6 weeks, hire car ticked on insurance, but not one under this unit unless it is invisible)
So, to get the Epson printing ink for 120 AUD (not paying 169 delivered tomorrow) means a car trip or a train trip to Bondi. Harvey Norman is a big kind of store here in Australia. Big W is a great store for large coloured paper clips. Need them right! Can't print due to the monkey. TED talk. He steals my procrastination, and eats it for breakfast. Crispy fried eggs on toast, with a slice of pre-cut tasty on top. Or gouda. Thanks my darling for the tea!
I came up with the "Zero to one; The puzzle draft," because I couldn't get to my first draft. It isn't an excuse.
Rather it is good enough for now, when exhausted. I didn't take your great advice, my first novel, is a series, many A to B beats, 4 main characters all, 2 still need their own beats. I can't see it in any other way. Perhaps, I will when I start to move, and delete, and place elsewhere. It is a journey, so I can leave myself pivotal pebbles. Keystones.
Rather it is justifying 220 thousand words. Not all mine, Most of it research. or unanswered could ofs, or could dos.
If I say perhaps. Okay it is now a question. If it is magical, then I looked at a video by Rachel Stephen, "brainstorming vs braindumping" and "going into the cave of inspiration, to find mud, and jewels."
In Scrivener, I think I have 90. Thousand. Words!
5 mins in a week, counts!
Thanks for your short thing today, it made me think. Okay get this thing printed. Next week. 5th. That's it. No wonder I couldn't read in bed today. My novel chewing my ankles.
I have also found the book, after yours quite useful. "Romancing the beat." Yes I have a romance, but according to Abbie, I have all 6 of the lacking chemistry elements.
I just tried to read a few words out of a book, collecting them from a local street library,
I can't give back to the street library, as I haven't read anything. I am looking at speechify, 139 dollars. A tool.
Dyslexia and being an author (no longer a teacher) means 5 years on this non draft.
It is full of magic questions, asides, notes. and your headings in my scrivener. My plot is strong, my characters lacking. All I have is this, and 5 years of adding words to one big fat file. Research. All I want to do is print it to see it as a whole, for Mum.
So, the moral of the story is; Sometimes we just have to flit around in bed, somewhat aimlessly and still. Until we find some inspiring words from a favourite author, on the same day we are trying to see the words of our own....
All we need to do anything is;
A space for a day
Some time in a week
Some tools (my real corkboard my Mum made years ago, coloured index cards, separate coloured strips according to your book of beat headings I need, Dragon dictate professional 15 home, and a blue yeti microphone
Some people to be inspired from, to delegate to, to pay, or to celebrate small achievements and milestones with...
And last of all to be anyone you like a writer, illustrator, a teacher (always) one needs;
self belief in the role. Not in yourself. Not in the product. We just have to write (and print) the darn thing. A writer I am.
"Cognito Ergo Sum."
I think therefore I am.
Descartes 1647.
In kindred spirit,
Rubinia Lane
"Eliza Most Beautiful Day is Today!"
29th of April 2023; 3:18pm
bed office with "One Day and Some Day" for moral support.
(Thanks kindly for your words, nothing is wasted when we write.)
Dulwich Hill, Sydney Australia x