Listening And Reflecting

Last week was a hard one at work.

Teaching of any kind is hard. It takes a lot of mental, emotional, and physical energy. Even the good days eat up most of my energy, leaving very little left over for the rest of my responsibilities. But last week was especially difficult. I worked with a new student and, while the student was an absolute pleasure to be with, I found myself troubled by some of the things they’ve had to go through at such a young age. And I think this, more than anything else, is what makes my job so hard. I can’t control their home life. I can’t erase their trauma. And even when they have loving, supportive parents/guardians at home, it doesn’t erase the things they’re struggling through.

The feeling of wanting to help, of wanting to change things for them, is extremely strong. And even though I can’t change the bad things in their lives, I can contribute positively to their education. It’s no small thing, but it often doesn’t feel like enough. So I do my best to give each student the best experience I can when I’m working with them. I give them smiles. I give them compassion. I give them my patience. I tell them I love them. I give them affection when they ask for it. And I trust that these seeds will take root, even if it’s slow going.

Today I was finally able to get some of my end-of-semester school work done. I’m about a page or two away from completing the final paper for one of my classes, and then the rest of the semester will be spent writing up the second paper. It’s looking like I probably won’t get anymore editing done in my novel until those two papers are turned in, which is fine. I have the whole month of May to complete my final draft. But with so many things on my plate, it feels like I’m half-assing them all if I can’t put all of my efforts into them. I guess this is part of my learning to adjust to the new job.

I also recently came up with another idea for expanding my indie author business. I announced it on my Facebook author page, but I’ll put it here too:

I’m going to create my own book box!

There are loads of different book box subscriptions out there right now, but mine is going to be unique to me. When I publish my debut novel, A Kiss of Glass, people will be able to purchase it from the different distributors I’ll be using (like Amazon), or they can come here and put in an order. The difference is that if they purchase through me, they will have an option to upgrade their purchase. Paperback boxes will include a signed paperback copy of my novel, and about three bookish items based on my novel (pens/pencils, bookmarks, posters, etc). The hardcover boxes will include a signed hardcover copy of my novel, and about five bookish items (pens/pencils, bookmarks, posters, candles, stickers, pins, etc). I’m working on getting these designed by the same person who designed my cover, my maps, and my concept art. (Pricing is yet to be determined.)

So I’m also trying to get these small business ideas sorted out, which is extremely complicated work. Pricing out the in-bulk printing of things like bookmarks and novelty pencils/pens, pins, etc. is tedious and tiring and exciting. But it does add more stress to my already unbelievably high amount of stress. At least I can look forward to the fact that there’s only six or seven more weeks of school until summer break, and I am going to do my damndest to work as little as possible over the summer.

So, be on the lookout for announcements regarding the release of my book, the book boxes, and a small Oregon-based book tour this summer!

I hope you’re all doing well! Comment below and let me know if there are other things you’d like to see from me.